The Convenience of Love
by Lady Kiddymonster
Summary: I have long wondered what would have happened if Kamal Pamuk had died in Edith's bed instead of Mary's so this totally AU story results from my imaginings.This story also sees a role reversal with Edith being the one who thinks herself unworthy but rest assured there will be a happy ending
1. Chapter 1

**The convenience of love**

**I have long wondered what would have happened if Kamal Pamuk had died in Edith's bed instead of Mary's so this totally AU story results from my imaginings. Rest assured there will be a happy ending.**

**Chapter 1**

Lady Edith Crawley was horrified. Kamal Pamuk lay dead beside her in her bed.. Edith had been enjoying the secret liaison. The moment he had arrived at Downton that day with Mary's friend, Evelyn Napier, Edith had been stunned by his interest in her. He had ignored Mary; which both delighted and surprised her because it was seldom that a man noticed her above Mary & Sybil. Pamuk had seemed almost exotic to Edith with his dusky skin and fantastic dark eyes that a woman could drown in. But Edith knew in her heart that it had not been serious; just a lustful secret tryst.

"Oh my god!" Edith wailed. She felt sick knowing that she could not carry the dead man to his own room on the other side of the house. She had to get help.

For now she tried not to think of the implications it would have for her own reputation should word get around. She felt her throat tighten with fear.

"Get a grip on yourself Edith," she snapped, "You need help,"

She put on her dressing gown and took up a candle as she walked barefoot through the dark house to her mother's room praying that it was not a night when her parents were sharing the same bed.

"Mama," Edith whispered.

Cora sat bolt upright, "Edith darling whatever is wrong? Are you unwell?"

"No," Edith tried to blink away tears, "I don't know what to do,"

She told Cora what had happened and Cora looked shocked.

"Oh Edith. why?"

"Mama, he paid attention to me and ignored Mary which is unusual when it comes to men. I suppose I was flattered and I wanted to feel special, I know how it will look when word gets around and I know I didn't think; at least not with my brain. I'm so sorry Mama, but I really need your help,"

Cora got up and put on her dressing gown.

"He's a grown man Edith so we will need more help because I doubt the two of us can manage to carry a man's body,"

Edith went to wake Anna who agreed to come and help; between them the three woman carried Pamuk's body across the house; keeping a close look out but they made it to the guest room which had been assigned to Pamuk and laid him in the bed.

Edith returned to her room and cried. Cora came in. Edith really wanted to be alone because the implications of what she had done were just beginning to penetrate her consciousness.

"Edith you have no idea how disappointed your father will be in you. Since the man was a visiting foreigner I can't see how we can keep this quiet,"

"Mama, I'm sorry," Edith wept, "please don't tell Papa,"

"I don't see what else I can do. You do not have any suitors and such actions may have consequences within a few months,"

Edith was well aware of what her mother was saying and she flushed scarlet with shame.

"Even if that does happen how can we expect any of the men of our acquaintance to marry me and acknowledge he child as his own? It will have his skin tone so not very convincing,"

"Hopefully it will not come to that," Cora crossed her fingers and touched the wooden bedpost of her daughter's bed, "but we will have to find you a husband as quick as possible to save not only your reputation but the family name,"

Edith frowned; it would be just like her mother to put the family name above her own daughter but Edith knew she had always been the misfit and black sheep of the Crawley family. That was why she had been so flattered by the attentions of an exotic foreigner. If only she had thought with her brain instead of what was between her legs but she had been highly aroused by his accented voice and dark eyes.

She was angry with society's double standards; if men wanted to sow their wild oats they were given a pat on the back for it whereas women, of whatever social class, were treated with disdain like they had crawled from beneath a rock. She could never read _Tess of the D'Urbervilles_ without becoming thoroughly incensed by the unfairness of it all.

"We will talk about this in the morning Edith," Cora said, "Try and get some sleep."

Once Cora had returned to her own bed Edith cried herself to sleeo.

The next day the house was in deep shock. The fact that footman Thomas Barrow had found Pamuk dead had spread like wildfire both above and below stairs and everywhere Edith went she came against whispers and expressions of shock which made her flush with shame although there was as yet no implications against her and no one but she, her mother and Anna knew the shocking truth. Edith hoped it would remain that way for as long as possible but she knew it would not belong before rumours and embellishments began to permeate the social gossip chain. She supposed she was fortunate in that few people in their social circle and beyond would instantly link her to the scandal for it was well known that her name was rarely linked with that of a man for good or bad reasons. But she was convinced she was being glanced at out of pity. If Mary found out, well Edith shivered, Mary would make crass comments about her sister not even being able to bed a man without him dropping dead. She made up her mind to weather the storm as best she could when it hit. As yet there was nothing to worry about. But Edith knew well that being the second yet least favourite daughter of the house of Grantham would lead to trouble.

Her father did not appear to think anything untoward as yet although naturally he was shocked at the notion of a guest being found dead in his house. But when she was alone she was both tearful and fearful; sure it would not be too long before the truth came out. Edith knew that her grandmother was shocked but as yet she did not know how Edith was involved. It wasn't like Esdith had murdered him after all' it has just been a cruel twist of fate that the first man ever to pay real interest in her had died. Dr Clarkson had given the cause of death as an acute myocardial infarction; a heart attack in layman's terms and he had shown no surprise. In fact he had expressed an opinion that the deceased had most probably had undetected heart weakness since birth or not long after and there was no way it could have been avoided. In some ways it made Edith feel a little better; the fact that Pamuk had had no more idea than she what would happen. But she had few friends or people in whom she found it easy to confide and at that moment she felt more alone than she had ever felt in her entire life.

So far her mother appeared not to have told anyone, for which Edith was grateful. Edith wondered if her mother would ever get over the shock of carrying a dead man's body across the house at dead of night. She was certain it was something she herself was never likely to forget and it would be between her and every man she might court, or be forced to marry, in future but she was too ashamed to ever tell. Tess of the D'Urbervilles she was not; she was far more sensitive to social reactions than Tess so would not make that same mistake.

For the next few months Edith waited with trepidation and was always relieved at the arrival of her monthly curse.

Then four months after the event her mother asked to speak with her in private. Edith's hands shook but instead of getting the lecture she feared she was informed that a neighbour of theirs, whom she had never met, was coming to dinner that night and she was to sit next to him at dinner.

Her mother informed her that he was a widower, some years older than she was, with no children and a large estate close to Ripon. Edith was told that he was a gentle kind man although many people considered him somewhat dull, including her own father. The man's name was Sir Anthony Strallan.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Edith was almost queasy with nerves that whole afternoon wondering what Sir Anthony Strallan would be like. Would he be handsome and would they have anything in common? Edith knew that her mother was anxious for her to get married off.

Mary had returned from visiting their Aunt Rosamund, Lady Painswicke, in London.

"So how was Rosamund?" Cora asked as she and Mary sat in the library with Violet, drinking tea.

"She's fine," Mary said, "Although I must admit I heard things which I don't quite believe,"

"What sort of things?" Cora had turned pale.

"I heard whispers about Edith and the late Mr Pamuk. I laughed it off. No men ever take an interest in Edith; she was the only person I know who managed to finish her season without a queue of suitors but then she always has been too self righteous for her own good,"

"He was a foreigner, Mary," Violet said, "not your English titled gentleman; perhaps he found Edith rather different from the suppressed women of his own culture,"

Mary tensed. "Do you two know something I don't?" she demanded, "mind you Edith did seem rather shocked by the death. More than she should have been considering she did not know him."

"I know more than I would like to know," Cora sighed. She swallowed.

"What do you know Mama?" Mary demanded, "If Edith has cast the shadows of scandal over the family simply because she didn't think then don't I, as a daughter of this house, have a right to know? I won't find a husband if something she has done has tarred Sybil and me with the same brush."

"Mr Pamuk didn't die in his own room," Cora said with extreme reluctance, "He died in Edith's. She came and woke me because she did not know what to do and we i.e. Anna and I helped her carry him across the house at dead of night back to his own room and that is something I am not likely to recover from anytime soon."

"My goodness," Violet turned pale, "Does Robert know?"

"Not yet," Cora said, "but Edith knows we have to find her a husband quickly and is prepared to co-operate, which is why I have invited Sir Anthony Strallan over for dinner tonight."

"Desperation goes hand in hand with desperation," Violet quipped, "What can he possibly have in common with Edith, Cora? He's at least twenty years older than she is and dull as paint."

"He's a nice man in spite of that," Cora said, "She has to marry someone, cousin Violet, and sooner rather than later,"

"I do agree with you on that score," Violet said, "we shall just see how they get on,"

OO

Unaware of the conversation currently going on in the library Edith prepared for dinner. She had looked up Sir Anthony Strallan in Burkes but learned very little although she at least knew now what he looked like. He looked like a very pleasant, indeed actually rather handsome man, although photos could be deceptive despite the notion that the camera never lied.

She felt queasy and wished that the wait was not so long.

She was headed to her room to dress when she passed Mary in the corridor and the look of loathing mixed with acute pity that Mary shot her told Edith everything she needed to know. She sighed; now she would have to deal with Mary's barbed remarks at every quarter it made the whole situation in which she found herself more unpleasant than ever but in this Edith knew that there was no one she could blame but herself. There was no point in blaming a dead man.

OO

Edith was in the library that evening with Violet, Robert, Mary, Cora and Sybil. A few other guests had been invited but Edith was almost frozen with nerves and did not trust herself to talk to any of them.

Carson came in.

"Sir Anthony Strallan, my lord," he said.

Edith watched as he walked into the room; immaculately attired with a buttonhole and a lot taller than his photograph – head and shoulders portrait shot - could depict. The photograph, having been in sepia, could not do justice to a pair of intense blue eyes and Edith found herself feeling quite weak but she managed to recover herself; she must not seem too keen or that it was a done deal.

"Sir Anthony, thank you for coming," Cora said.

"You're welcome Lady Grantham, "he kissed her hand but it lacked the sleazy sycophantic touch that most lower ranking people exhibited on direct personal contact with her family.

Cora patiently introduced Sybil and Mary and she could tell that Mary found the whole spectacle distasteful yet amusing.

"This is Lady Edith," Cora said, "My second daughter. She is to be seated next to you."

Anthony kissed Edith's hand and she tried to suppress the butterflies in her stomach.

"How are you Lady Edith?" he whispered.

"I am very well thank you Sir Anthony," Edith said wishing she could stop feeling so stiff and formal.

They went into dinner and Edith sat beside Anthony. She was surprised to find that she could engage well with him on matters of current affairs, literature and farm machinery. She chatted back well aware that she must not seem to be too keen too soon. Her father was not yet aware of the necessity of a match being made for her and Edith was over twenty-one but Edith sensed he might still raise objections on the grounds of Anthony's age.

The dinner plates were cleared away and there was a short interval before the dessert was served. By this time Edith had already convinced Anthony to take her over to his estate and show her the new farm machinery he had. She knew that she had to find out how they got on when there was no one else present but somehow she felt no dread about that. Already she found him polite, engaging and charming as well as highly knowledgeable and Edith realised how she craved intellectual company for she had always been so stifled at Downton, stifled and ignored, that was why Pamuk's company and him being so vastly different to everyone and everything within her normal experienced had captivated her. But could she ever love Anthony? She had grown up with the ideal that marriage should be for love but her own experience and the consequences made her wonder just how many society marriages were, after all, based on convenience.

But when the guests tasted the raspberry Pavlova there were gasps of shock all round for the pudding was covered not in the expected sugar but salt. Cora quickly ordered for it to be taken away and water to be brought. Thankfully there was an alternate dessert. Frantic apologies were issued and Edith was worried but Anthony took it all in his stride and when they filed through after dinner she chatted to him amiably.

"I think he's taken the bait," Mary said to Violet, "Although I feel sorry for them both."

Soon after the guests left and Anthony with them.

"You did very well with Sir Anthony," Cora said, "you looked after him very well but do you like him?"

"Well I don't find him dull but I would need to spend a bit more time with him and not under family scrutiny before I can make up my mind about him for sure."

Edith sighed, "Oh Mama, I wish I had left Mr Pamuk well alone and not been so easily flattered. I am Tess of the D'Urbervilles to Sir Anthony's Angel Clare. I have fallen and if he was to find out...what would he think of me? He deserves better than me Mama. Because of what I have done I am not good enough for him. I am damaged goods and always will be and my story is out there for some unsuspecting tabloid hack to seize upon."

"Oh Edith darling," Cora put her arms around her daughter.

"Mary knows doesn't she?" Edith said.

"Yes I am afraid I had to tell her and your grandmother. Mary heard rumours about you in London. She did not believe them."

"Of course not, Mary thinks she is the only woman in this family remotely of interest to men,"

"How much longer will it be until Papa has to find out?"

"I don't know Edith darling," Cora sighed, "What I suggest is try and get to know Sir Anthony a little better. "

"Well he did promise to take me and show me his farm and estate but he also mentioned he had to make a short trip abroad. I could write of course but that would give the impression of desperation which is not what I want. I want him to want to spend time with me because he wants to not because I ask him to,"

Anthony had not told Cora about his impending trip which she saw as significant in a way.

"We'll just see what happens," Cora said.

That night Edith lay awake for hours turning things over in her mind. Her first impression of Sir Anthony had been favourable but what could it lead to? Could she ever love the man? But as she fell asleep she caught herself thinking of how nice it would be to look into those blue eyes every day.

But a voice in her head said_, "Edith, do you think he will want anything to do with you when he finds out what a slut you are? It smacks of desperation you bedding a visiting foreigner who you probably would never have seen again had he survived and left the next day as planned."_

Edith had always been harshly self critical and her troubled thoughts would not leave her in any degree of peace. All she could do was hope that she would see Anthony again soon.

OO

It was a couple of weeks later and Edith had spent long lonely hours. She avoided Mary wherever possible not wanting to hear her sister's tirade of scorn against her for her misjudged misguided mistake.

Then Anthony was at the house again and Edith was glad that Mary had gone out riding.

"Lord Grantham I was wondering if Lady Edith might accompany me for a drive. I did promise her a trip to Locksley when last we met."

"Can I go Papa?" Edith asked.

"Of course," he looked at Anthony, "mind you have her back here in time to dress for dinner,"

"I have dinner guests myself, Lord Grantham, so that will not be an issue as I myself will need to be back in plenty of time to get ready."

OO

Edith and Anthony left Downton and Edith's heart fluttered with anticipation at what being alone with him would mean and how they would get on.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Edith felt highly relaxed in Sir Anthony's company; she felt able to be herself although she was sure he would not want to know her if he ever found out her dirty little secret. She was the second daughter of an Earl and Sir Anthony was a baronet. Socially she outranked him but morally she knew she was nowhere near good enough. She prayed that he would not turn the conversation around to her.

They sped along the high roads the wind whistling past them. Edith found herself wishing she could drive as it would offer her a chance to escape from the stifling confines of her home and family life.

Sir Anthony was quietly impressed with her. Young though she was – he knew she was not yet of age – she could hold an engaging conversation on so many topics and her enthusiasm was infectious. She seemed relaxed but he sensed she was keeping part of herself back which was hardly surprising since they barely knew each other. He had no idea of course of the reasons why; that she considered herself not worthy of him.

He had mentioned his late wife, Maud, and at once nearly bitten his tongue out for mentioning one's late spouse was hardly the key to a young woman's heart. But she seemed interested for she asked him directly and with no hint of jealousy or malice, what Maud had been like and he had relaxed then. He thought about Lady Edith; her creamy skin, coppery hair and those lovely brown eyes touched him deeply. She seemed very reluctant to talk about herself which he could understand. It was probably the first time a man had invited her out alone and she was probably shy.

OO

She showed great enthusiasm when he and his estate manager showed her around the farms at Locksley and she was quietly impressed with the farm machinery and the efficiency with which everything seemed to be run.

He invited her inside the house for tea and she was pleased to accept for she was thirsty. She was impressed by his library. It was smaller than the one at Downton but the books looked much read and appreciated whereas Lord Grantham's library was for show.

"Your father's library is far more impressive than mine," he said.

"Yes but yours has at least been used," she said.

"If you see something you like then you are welcome to borrow it,"

"Oh I couldn't; they look so well loved,"

"Please Lady Edith, I insist. What is the point in having such a fine library if I can't share it with someone?"

"Well thank you," she said. She was glad she had not seen _Tess _on his shelves for it would have provoked an emotional reaction she could not discuss with a virtual stranger although he made her feel comfortable.

"Lady Edith," he whispered, "you're trembling. Are you alright?"

"I'm just tired," she lied, "it was rather warm last night so I didn't sleep too well."

She found herself fighting her impulses; she felt that having this man's arms around her would protect her from anything. Having Pamuk's arms around her had opened her life to nothing but trouble. Somehow she felt that Anthony would be very different but she knew that she must not get too close to him yet. She felt certain that she could come to love him if she was given a chance; the question is would he ever love her even without knowing her dirty secret.

OO

Anthony drove Edith back to Downton later on.

"So how was the afternoon?" Cora asked.

"Oh it was very interesting," Edith said. "We talked about a lot of things like literature and current affairs. He is a very nice man. He doesn't have much confidence and no idea of his own self worth but if he found out, if he knew what I am, then he would never look at me again much less invite me out."

Cora was aware of the unspoken words that told her that, whether her daughter chose to admit it to herself or not, Edith was falling in love with Sir Anthony Strallan.

OO

"Good evening Anthony,"

His dinner guests, Colonel and Lady Gervaise, had turned up.

"Are you planning on gracing our dining room anytime soon Anthony old chap?" the Colonel asked.

"Oh do Anthony," his wife said.

"Well I have got two tickets to a concert in York next week and there is a young lady I'm mindful of asking. Perhaps I might bring her along?"

"You're a dark horse Sir Anthony," Lady Gervaise tittered, "Do we know her?"

"She's the Earl of Grantham's second daughter, Lady Edith Crawley. She's a delightful young lady, very pretty but highly intelligent with it."

Lady Gervaise was stone faced at the mention of Edith's name and hastily changed the subject. Anthony was aggrieved at this and knew he would know no peace until he knew the reason for her change of topic.

Finally he cornered her.

"Just what did you mean?" he asked.

"Well we have recently come from an extended stay at our London place since our niece was doing her first season. We heard rumours that were somewhat alarming; granted we do not know Lady Edith Crawley,"

Anthony's patience was being rapidly exhausted.

"What did you hear?"

"A young foreign visitor, a Turkish diplomat, died in his bed at Downton some months back."

"Yes I had heard something along those lines," Anthony lied.

"Well rumours are abounding, probably also started by someone who does not know Lady Edith from Adam, that the gentleman did not actually die in his own bed but in that of Lady Edith and that she got help to carry him back to his own room."

"Lady Edith isn't like that,"

"There is rarely any smoke without fire Anthony; I would advise you to try and get to the bottom of it before you further encourage anything."

OO

Left alone in his library Anthony stood, tumbler of whisky in hand, staring out of the window into the darkness.

If the rumours Lady Gervaise had heard were true then was it any surprise that he sensed Lady Grantham was trying to foist Edith onto him as an attempt to save face. It also explained Lady Edith's reluctance to relax totally in his company in case she gave herself away. But Sir Anthony Strallan was not Angel Clare and he realised with a shock that it did not matter to him what she had done before he met her. In actual fact he was suffused with a desire to take her into his home and protect her. The gallantry in him was rising. He had no idea that Edith did not consider herself worthy of him.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Anthony lay awake until the small hours thinking about Lady Gervaise's revelations about Edith. Anthony was pretty sure that Lady Grantham knew else why the sudden insistence he come to dinner? He had no idea of the direct role Cora had played in the aftermath of the death of Mr Pamuk of course. While he found it difficult to believe that of Lady Edith he had had no trouble at all, during his short visits to Downton, in discerning that she felt unappreciated and unloved. If that was so then he had no problem understanding. The poor young woman had clearly just wanted to feel loved and appreciated. He had no right to judge her but at last he understood her reticence to talk about herself.

But Sir Anthony Strallan was not the type of man to take rumour at face value because more often than not it really was idle gossip. He wanted to talk to her alone and gently get her to tell him. He just wanted to take care of her. The Gervaise's were among his oldest friends but he felt a strong desire to look beyond what he had been told and hear the truth from her own lips. He knew that Lady Grantham had invited him for dinner in the hope that he would strike up some relationship with Edith which could be used to refute the rumours and he felt more than a little angry that Lady Grantham had used him in this way for he felt sure that he would not be considered an eligible suitor under normal circumstances on account of his age. But he was not angry with Lady Edith; indeed she was bringing out his protective instinct. He realised he found her attractive not just in terms of intelligence but physically as well; he could well understand other men being drawn to her. It was too soon as yet to consider love although she seemed fond enough of him but he did not want to pressure her into anything although he was sure that her family would hope something could be resolved if only to save their family name being dragged through the mire of scandal.

He would go to Downton and invite her to the concert – for which he already had tickets - but he would not take her to the Gervaise's for dinner. Perhaps he could get her relaxed enough so she would be frank with him. He did not believe in plying women with alcohol; in his experience showing a genuine interest in her as a person would probably yield better results. More than anything he wanted her to know that he was beginning to care for her and he wanted more than anything to make her happy. Show her that she mattered to him.

OO

Edith was sitting in the library with her parents. Sybil and Mary were out riding.

"Sir Anthony Strallan is here to see you Lady Edith,"

Edith looked up as Carson said Anthony's name.

Anthony came in.

Edith smiled shyly at him.

"Lord Grantham I have managed to get tickets for a concert in York on Friday," Anthony said, "I wondered if Lady Edith would care to accompany me? I can't handle anything too complicated so it's just some pastoral stuff."

"I would love to," Edith gasped, "May I Papa?"

"Of course as long as you're not home too late,"

Edith looked up into Anthony's blue eyes and her smile spoke volumes.

"I'll pick you up at around 6, Lady Edith. It's a longish drive but we can get something to eat,"

"Yes that would be lovely," Edith said.

OO

Robert & Cora could not fail to notice how alive Edith had been in the few moments Anthony had been in the room. Robert did not yet know about the Pamuk scandal and he was therefore not sure he liked his daughter being seen in the company of a much older man but Sir Anthony was healthy, titled and had wealth which meant he could provide for Edith should things go that far.

OO

Edith got Anna to curl her hair a little that afternoon in preparation for her outing.

"You look fine, my Lady," Anna said.

"Thank you Anna," Edith smiled.

"Sir Anthony is a good decent man, Lady Edith,"

"I know Anna," Edith was shocked to find herself blinking away tears, "but I don't deserve him, Anna; not after what happened."

"You made an honest mistake my Lady."

"Yes but when men make that kind of 'mistake' they get praised for it; women get vilified and I can't bear for him to find out because he would hate me. I'm very fond of him, Anna, and I could not bear to marry him on the basis of a lie because he probably thinks I'm pure but if I tell him the truth then I know I will lose him."

"Just see how things go this evening, my lady. You will have the trip there and back plus dinner to be alone and by the time he drops you home you should have a much better idea about him and how he reacts to certain things. Don't make any rash decision on what you know so far. "

"Thank you Anna,"

"Just relax and enjoy yourself, my lady. I don't think badly of you for that night,"

"Thanks Anna; that really means a lot."

OO

Edith had to admit to herself that Anthony looked simply gorgeous that afternoon. He seemed taller than ever and his eyes even bluer.

"Have you done something jolly with your hair?" he whispered to her.

"Yes, do you like it?"

"Very much,"

Most people just never bothered to notice whenever she wore a new dress or changed her style.

OO

Pretty soon they were cruising along the roads towards York. Edith sat back and sighed; loving the freedom of the wind on her face.

He chatted to her amiably and she responded, grateful for his interest in her as a person.

The concert was uplifting and very moving. Edith had to dab her eyes with her handkerchief more than once and he too seemed moved. Although there were close on two hundred people there it seemed like an almost intimate moment between them,

Anthony was pleased to see that she was moved but had resisted the temptation to reach for her hand as he had no desire to shock her or take liberties with the fact they were alone. Her brown eyes were filling with tears and at that moment he simply ached to hold her in his arms and kiss her so hard it took her breath away.

Edith was fighting herself for she felt a sudden longing to be held close to his warm body; held kissed and loved. He was simply gorgeous but she was damaged goods and as such did not deserve a decent man like him. Even if she did tell him and he did still want her around could they get past the fact? She was not yet sure she loved him but she felt sure that was the way things were going, for her at least, and the last thing she wanted was to be broken hearted and he might be her only chance of a good social position but it was not fair to him.

They stopped at a small country inn for dinner. Edith felt relaxed. He reached out and took her hand.

"Lady Edith," he whispered, "I know we haven't known one another long so I understand your reticence but I sense that there is something troubling you and if I can I would like to help, at least listen. I am a good listener and I never judge,"

His words reached right to her heart and she was shocked to find her body shaking with sobs. He hesitated only a moment before putting an arm around her shoulders.

"You can't help, Sir Anthony. You are a dear sweet man and I have become very fond of you but you cannot reverse what I have done and believe me, more than anything else in the world, I wish that you could."

She sobbed and he held her close soothing her. She had no idea what he had heard but he sensed that she was really torn up inside.

Finally she looked up at him and tearful brown eyes met blue ones.

"You need to forget me Anthony, I'm not good enough for you and I quite simply don't deserve you."

He held her hand and looked into her eyes.

"Why don't you let me be the judge of that?" he whispered softly.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Edith was choked with emotion; she really did want to tell him everything but even after his soft words of reassurance she feared his reaction and she did not want to talk here but she could not go home in this heightened emotional state in case her family leapt to the totally wrong conclusion that it was Anthony who had upset her and she did not want them thinking badly of him.

Sensing this he patted her hand and said, "Go the ladies room and splash cold water on your face while I settle the bill then I will take you somewhere more private,"

"Thank you," she whispered.

She did feel better when she had washed her face and walked back out to where he was waiting. He put his arm around her and quietly led her outside.

He drove off. Edith was silent but she studied his profile as he drove. He really was a very handsome man with well formed features and those blue eyes sent shivers of pleasure through her. Her throat tightened with fear; she so wanted to tell him everything but feared his reaction. Had not Angel Clare been understanding before Tess had spilled her indiscretion? But somehow Edith knew that, blonde good looks aside, Anthony Strallan was as far removed from Angel Clare as day from night.

Anthony had been moved by her emotion and surprised by how much he wanted to comfort her.

"I'll take you to Locksley," he said, "at least there you will be comfortable and I can vouch for the discretion of my staff; if I say we want to be left in private then they will respect that."

"Thank you," she whispered.

OO

Robert, Cora, Violet and Mary sat in the library at Downton. Dinner was finished.

"I'm not sure I like the amount of time Edith is spending with Anthony Strallan," Robert frowned, "he's much too old for her,"

"He has the means to provide for her," Violet said, "he has a title, a fine estate and far as I know there is no blemish to his character,"

Robert looked puzzled; it was like he had arrived in the middle of the conversation not initiated it.

"There is no blemish to Edith's character either," Robert said.

Mary smirked behind the magazine she was reading.

Robert had been down to London that day to visit the Crawley family solicitor George Murray; he had not been anywhere prone to idle tittle-tattle although he had heard a snatch of conversation between two ladies at the station as they had boarded their West Country bound train from the opposite end of the platform.

"_You would have thought an Earl's second daughter would know how to behave," the older of the two had said, "And with a foreigner no less. Aren't British gentleman good enough for her?"_

"_She probably fancied a bit of the exotic," the younger one had said with a giggle._

"_It is nothing to joke about, Ursula," the older lady snapped, "I call it disgraceful_

He was not the only Earl with more than one daughter after all but it stuck in his mind and, had it not been for the death of Kamal Pamuk in his house, he probably would not have dwelt on it a moment longer.

"I overheard something at the station," he admitted, "Granted no names were mentioned but an Earl's second daughter and a foreign gentleman were mentioned. I know there are other earls in England with at least one daughter and probably some who have had foreign visitors but it is just too much of a coincidence, especially after the death of a foreign gentleman in this very house."

"I can't believe you are prepared to think the worst of Edith on hearsay," Cora said although her bottom lip trembled as she spoke.

"Cora, I demand to know what is going on. Are we about to be dragged through a quagmire of scandal? Mud sticks which means Sybil and Mary will find it hard to find husbands." Robert was pale but with rage, not shock.

Cora sighed. "Yes Robert, Mr Pamuk died in Edith's bed. She came and begged me for help so she, Anna and I carried him back to his own room where Thomas found him dead the next morning. She is well aware of how serious implications it has for her socially but thankfully no lasting reminders appear to be in evidence. That is why I invited Sir Anthony to dinner and allowed him to take her out. If she marries him, and they seem to get on rather well, then it will be another storm we have braved."

"You really think all will end well?" Mary snapped, "Knowing Edith she will probably do a Tess of the D'Urbervilles and tell him so that will be the end of a beautiful romance before it gets started."

"We will deal with that if it happens," Violet said.

"It's not a matter of if, Granny; it's a matter of when," Mary said.

Robert rang for Carson who promptly appeared.

"Carson when Lady Edith returns I want to see her in here no matter how late the hour."

"Yes my lord," Carson said.

OO

Unaware of what was transpiring at Downton Edith and Anthony had reached Locksley. He took her inside and had her sit in the library then he ordered the butler to bring them tea.

"I need to speak to Lady Edith in private; we do not want to be disturbed," Anthony said.

"Very good Sir Anthony,"

Left alone he put his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm afraid, Anthony," she shivered.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he whispered.

"You might; I'm worried you won't want to know me when I tell you,"

"Edith it really can't be so bad can it?"

"For a woman it is, Anthony," she began to cry again as he sat beside her and tried to hold her close but she backed away which hurt him a little although he understood. He handed her a clean handkerchief and poured her more tea.

Edith swallowed hard; he was being so sweet but still she feared how his mood may change when the truth was out.

"Please don't feel you _have _to tell me, Lady Edith. I just thought it might help if you could talk about things but I never meant to cause you distress or upset."

"A few months ago we had an overnight visitor at Downton; a friend of a friend of my sister Mary. He was Turkish, a diplomat and he showed me attention right from the start and it threw me because most men never notice me when Mary & Sybil are around. I don't think Mary was too pleased to be honest because I think she quite fancied him herself. To cut a long story short," Edith flushed, unable to look Anthony in the eyes.

"Take your time, Lady Edith," Anthony said gently.

"He came to my room in the middle of the night and I allowed him to make love to me. It made me feel really attractive, loved and special. The plan was for him to return to his own room but the worst happened, he died of a heart attack. In blind panic I enlisted the help of my mother and a maid to carry him back to his room where Thomas, our footman, found him the next morning," Edith was shaking with violent sobs, "I feel so ashamed Anthony; I threw away my virginity and reputation on a whim and I bitterly regret it because he excited me and made me feel special. Thankfully there does not seem to be a lasting reminder of that tryst but I have fallen and you deserve much better than that, much better than me. My mother invited you to dinner that night but the way I look at it now she is trying to trap you into marrying me and I can't have that."

"Oh my sweet Lady Edith," he took her in his arms and she sobbed into his chest, "I want you to know that I think you are an incredibly brave, strong and beautiful person. So what if you made a mistake? Many women do although they are usually not so unlucky to have the gentleman in question die on them. I don't think any the less of you and I would be honoured if you would permit me to take you as my wife so I can protect and look after you. I know how unhappy you are at home my darling and you did what you did because he was the first man to show you any attention. You would never be second best here, Edith. To tell you the truth I think very highly of you and the fact I have chosen you makes you more than worthy."

"Oh Anthony," she looked into his eyes as he gently brushed the tears from her eyes with his fingers.

"Edith my darling; everything will be alright," he whispered.

OO

Anthony allowed Edith to clean herself up in the bathroom.

"I will take you home and I will come to see you tomorrow so we can talk some more," he said, "but please rest assured; I meant what I said earlier. You have come to be very precious to me and I am not some young man devoid of moral scruples and a sense of what's right or wrong. I can look after you and I intend to. I don't expect you to love me but I can offer you protection and a social position. It has been ten years since there was a Lady Strallan. I don't even expect you to share my bed unless you choose to. You will have your own room and your own income to do with as you please. You can see whoever you like but you will have a position and the protection of my name. Please don't answer yes or no right now, just go away and think about it and please know I offer this out of admiration for you, not pity,"

"Oh Anthony," she kissed him on the cheek, "I was so worried you would turn out to be an Angel Clare."

"I have never approved of the double standards in that book," he said, "I have been on Tess' side since I first read it many years ago now yet it remains a favourite,"

He held her close suddenly realising he did not want to let her go.

OO

"Your father wishes to see you in the library, Lady Edith," Carson said.

"Alright," she swallowed.

She pushed open the door.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Edith felt afraid. It was unusual to be summoned this time of night.

Her parents and grandmother were seated and they invited Edith to sit. She had a feeling this would be more than a ticking off for being back late.

"Did you have a nice evening?" Cora asked.

"Yes it was lovely; the concert was very moving and I feel so safe with Sir Anthony. He is a very decent man. He would make some lucky lady a very good husband but I doubt she would ever replace the late Lady Strallan,"

Edith had no idea in which direction this meeting would head so decided, for now at least, to keep back the emotional moments she and Anthony had shared.

"I'll get to the point, Edith," Robert said, "I know that Mr Pamuk did not die in his own room."

"H how did you find out?" Edith stammered.

"That doesn't matter; what I want to hear from your own mouth is whether or not it is true. If so you have compromised not only your reputation but that of your family. Your actions will make it very hard for your sisters to find husbands. Why Edith? You were brought up better than that. "

"Yes I did have Mr Pamuk in my room and yes he did die after we had...had relations. Yes I did get Mama and Anna to help me carry him back. I did not think what I was doing but he made me feel alive. He paid me attention and normally men don't look at me because of Mary & Sybil. He made me feel important and treated me like I mattered. I never get that here for I am largely ignored and made to feel second best beside my sisters. I allowed Mr Pamuk into my bed because he made me feel loved. How was I to know he would die? If he hadn't he would have returned to his own room and no one would have been any the wiser. For what it's worth I am thoroughly ashamed of what I did and regret it bitterly,"

"I never knew you felt this way Edith," Violet said.

"Sir Anthony treats me like I matter and no we have not had...relations but he is someone I can talk to and feel comfortable with. I know he is older than I am and he can do nothing about that but he is in good health."

"Do you love him?" Violet asked.

"I'm very fond of him," Edith said, "but even if I never love him then surely he will give me a position and his good name although I do not deserve such gallantry, I am damaged goods and it is wrong to presume on his good will,"

Edith was not yet prepared to reveal what had passed between them that evening.

"Is he still outside?" Robert asked. He had not expressed his rage vehemently but in calm measured tones and he was ashamed by his daughter's contrition and he almost understood why she had done it. He had not shown as much affection to Edith or given her anywhere near as much time as he had devoted to Mary and Sybil over the years and in that moment he felt ashamed too. Of all his titled neighbours and acquaintances Sir Anthony Strallan was the more traditional choice.

"No, he has gone home Papa; he said there was a Conan Doyle with his name on it beside his bed."

"I don't like discussing women's medical matters but are you sure that the late Mr Pamuk has not left you with a... lasting reminder? Only, as noble as Sir Anthony Strallan is, even he could not acknowledge a half Turkish child as his own because of the skin tone."

"There would be ways around that," Violet said, "they could go to Turkey and come back with the child claiming they adopted it because Edith discovered she was unable to have children of her own,"

"I have been having my monthly visit," Edith said, "I can have Dr Clarkson examine me if you wish but I am pretty certain. You see I don't think Mr Pamuk quite ...finished the job if you know what I mean,"

""That is something," Robert said, "Would you be able to be happy, with or without love."

"I would always be grateful, Papa, but I would be mistress of an estate; have plenty to occupy my mind to keep me from further indiscretions,"

"I will telephone tomorrow and ask him to come here," Robert said, "I admire you for being prepared to do this Edith, especially since you have known Sir Anthony for only a short time. I am of course disappointed in you for what you did but I think I can understand why. In the same situation I fear Mary would have pushed my patience to the limits."

"I am very sorry Papa," Edith said, "but please give Anthony the right to make up his own mind."

"Of course," Robert said.

OO

Edith was getting ready for bed when Cora tapped on the door.

"Edith darling; I'm sorry but I had to tell him. He heard some gossip when in London and demanded to know if there was any truth in it."

"It's alright Mama," Edith sat on the bed, "I told Anthony everything and he was so supportive; he did not judge me in the way I deserved. He said he would give me the protection of his name and his estate. He promised me an income of my own and said I didn't even have to share his bed if I chose not to. I was crying and afraid to look him in the eyes as I told him but when I did dare I saw only compassionate understanding. I love him Mama and more than I ever thought possible."

"Oh my darling," Cora hugged her daughter.

"I'm sorry I let the family down, Mama; I really am. I love Anthony so much but I really don't deserve him; not after what I have done."

"I think he loves you, Edith," Cora said gently, "in fact I would stake everything I hold dear on it. Let him love and care for you and do the same for him and i guarantee you will be very happy."

OO

After returning from dropping Edith home Anthony stood in the library with a glass of whisky in his hand; with the other he poked the fire into some semblance of life.

He had been deeply moved by her emotional fragility that evening and it had made him want to protect her even more. The way she had let him hold her had shaken him to the core as he realised in that moment that he loved her and he wanted nothing more than to make her part of his life. To him she was worthy and untainted ; all that remained now was to convince her of that.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

**A/N Remember that Edith & Anthony have had a role reversal in this story; he is the confident one whereas she thinks herself unworthy**

"How was the concert my lady?" Anna asked when she brought Edith's early morning tea the following day.

"It was wonderful," Edith said, "Sir Anthony and I get on so well," she swallowed, "I told him Anna, I told him everything about that night and he told me he doesn't think any less of me," she smiled, "in fact he wants to marry me so he can protect and look after me,"

"That's good my lady,"

"Yes it is," Edith smiled.

OO

Edith was quiet at breakfast. She was imagining how nice it would be to look into Anthony's blue eyes every morning.

Robert came in; he had been on the telephone.

"Sir Anthony is coming over at eleven o'clock Edith. I haven't let on what I know."

"Thank you Papa," Edith smiled; she had decided it was not the right time to tell him that Anthony already knew everything.

OO

Anthony drove over to Downton later that morning. He was a little nervous although he couldn't think why.

Carson showed him into the library.

"Sir Anthony Strallan my lord,"

"Thank you Carson," he turned to Anthony, "would you like coffee?"

"No thank you, Lord Grantham,"

"Please ensure we are not disturbed, Carson."

"Yes my lord," Carson left closing the door behind him.

OO

Robert indicated that Anthony be seated.

"I am guessing that this meeting concerns me and Lady Edith,"

"Yes it does, she has er, how can I put this discreetly, brought potential trouble on the family."

"I am well aware of the situation, Lord Grantham. Lady Edith told me everything yesterday for it was clearly tearing her up inside,"

"I only learnt of it myself yesterday; obviously I knew that the young man died in my house but I had assumed he had died in his room where he was found. I was rather alarmed to learn different."

"I'm sure it was a tremendous shock, Lord Grantham."

There was a brief silence while the two men considered what the other had said. Robert was rather surprised to learn that Edith had told Anthony something so personal but he would doubtless have found out another way through far more scurrilous means soon enough.

"So what do you make of it Anthony?"

"The way I understood it, Lord Grantham, she felt unloved and unappreciated so when this Turkish gentleman offered her attention and made her feel good about herself she seized on it. I don't know your daughter very well but I don't, for one moment, think she is a woman of loose morals and she bitterly regrets the incident. Her confidence and self worth are in shreds and she could not even look me in the eyes as she told me. But I do not think badly of her at all,"

"That's contrary to what a lot of people will think,"

"I agree, Lord Grantham. The age old double standard once again rears its ugly head to the detriment of a young woman's reputation. Lady Edith feared I would turn out to be like Angel Clare,"

"_Tess of the D'Urbervilles_ is a long-term favourite of hers," Robert said, "She says attitudes to women have not changed at all."

"She is right for, if a young man behaves in such a way, he is applauded whereas a woman gets vilified. In a short space of time I have come to care very deeply for Lady Edith and I can offer her the protection of my name and estate. As my wife she will want for nothing. I am aware I am older than what you would ideally want for her but I can do nothing to change that. In this way her reputation will not be dragged through the mire and I will look after her, if that is what she wants. She wants to put it behind her and move on. As a wife she can do that, you all can, but left alone you will all be torn to pieces by the society in which you belong. I can marry her as soon as can humanly be arranged and take her out of the country for a while. By the time we return scandal will have its hooks into someone else."

"You would really put everything you have on the line for the sake of my daughter's reputation?" Robert was astounded.

"Yes I would, Lord Grantham, because I am falling in love with Lady Edith and I just want to take care of her,"

"It's an even bigger sacrifice if she doesn't love you,"

"I will take that risk, Lord Grantham,"

Robert shook Anthony's hand, "You have no idea how relieved I am dear chap,"

He called for Carson, "Carson, please send Lady Edith in."

"Very good, my lord."

Carson left and moments later the door opened and Edith walked in.

OO

She smiled when she saw Anthony but she was visibly shaking. Robert had not noticed until this moment how the whole business had shaken his daughter and shattered her self- worth and confidence to pieces. Anthony got up and assisted her to sit before pressing a glass of water to her lips. Robert found herself blinking away tears at the tenderness with Anthony treated his daughter. She let him hold her hand.

"Edith, I understand that you have already told Anthony about the whole sordid business."

"Yes, I just want to put it behind me but that will never be possible will it?" her bottom lip trembled.

"Pretty soon the scandalmongers will find someone else to fixate on," Robert said sounding much more confident in the matter than he felt.

"These things leave impression on the social conscience of the nation, Papa. You know that, I have blackened my family name and my own reputation for a few moments of pleasure which, to be honest, I did not truly enjoy because I did not love him. How can I ever put it behind me?" Her brown eyes filled with tears and Anthony thought his heart would break; she was so fragile. He wanted to gather her in his arms and take her away from all this to a place where only they existed. He hastily blinked tears from his own eyes.

"Edith," Robert said, "Anthony is prepared to give you back your life and your freedom by marrying you and placing you under the protection of his name and making you mistress of his estate. He will make no demands on you; you will have the freedom to go where you please with whom and have an income of your own. He will look after you."

"I am not worthy of you, Anthony," she sobbed, "I really am not and suppose you live to regret it."

"Edith I have chosen you because I believe you are worth so much more than you think." he gently brushed tears from her eyes, "I love you and I want to be your husband and look after you; please allow me to do that for you. You don't have to love me but you mean enough for me to try. I want you to be safe and able to hold your beautiful head up high. I understand why you did what you did, more than you will ever know, I need you and I would rather be honest enough to admit I need a good sweet girl like you by my side than pretend not to care and have no one. I will take you away until the gossip dies down and you can rest and relax before I bring you back."

"This really is more than I deserve,"

"What you deserve is what I denied you, Edith," Robert said gently, "I denied you the time and attention that I gave to your sisters and I am so sorry for that. Let Anthony make you happy and be your own person because he has clearly recognised your true worth which to my shame I failed to do. All I want is for you to be happy my darling,"

"Oh Papa, I really do love you and I just so ashamed of what I have done."

"I love you Edith, my darling daughter."

Edith was shaking and Anthony put his arms around her. She clung to him like she was drowning as indeed she was in a vast ocean of tears.

"I'll leave you both in peace," Robert said, "Edith you need to compose yourself."

Robert left the room.

"I know you meant every word of that," she whispered, "I love you too; so much and your love will be my salvation."

"I have never been a woman's salvation before." he whispered.

"I think Papa is shocked; I don't think he realised just how much this whole thing and the worry has affected me but I'm an emotional wreck Anthony, you're not getting a good deal."

"I am because I am getting the woman I want. I don't want some empty-headed socialite; I want a beautiful woman whose beauty resides within as well as externally. I don't think you realise it, Lady Edith, but when you walk into a room I can see nothing beyond your light and that's the kind of woman I want to be with. I want to help you get yourself back together and I want to help you heal from within. So will you marry me, Lady Edith Crawley? Will you let me love and care for you as you deserve?"

Edith threw her arms around his neck and kissed him on the lips.

"Yes I will, Anthony; In fact I would absolutely love to marry you and as soon as possible because only then can I learn to live again,"


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Rating goes up to M here.**

A couple of weeks passed. Edith spent every possible moment she could with Anthony and she began to feel a lot better as his presence gave her comfort.

Robert had issued his consent in writing for Edith to marry given that she was not yet twenty-one. All the while the darkening clouds of war loomed over Europe and conflicts threatened at every turn. Everyone was disturbed.

Neither Edith nor Anthony wanted a big wedding so just her family and his servants gathered at Downton church and Reverend Travis conducted the formalities. Edith wore a plain cream satin dress with the legendary Grantham tiara fixing her veil in place. Robert walked her down the aisle, increasingly concerned by her fragility. Anthony lifted the veil from her face and she felt a shiver run down her back as she looked into his blue eyes.

"It will be alright," he whispered, "you are so worthy and you will never be second best in my world."

They spoke their vows clearly and Anthony slipped a ring onto her finger. Travis pronounced them to be husband and wife and Lady Edith Strallan walked out of the church with her arm through her husband's.

The wedding reception was quiet and sedate and when Anthony took his wife's hand and led her onto the dance floor so actually realised she was the happiest she had been for some time. She pressed close to his warm body as he effortlessly glided across the floor with her in his arms.

"Oh Lady Strallan I do love you," he murmured, "You don't have to worry about anything at all now."

"Thank you darling Anthony," she murmured back, "I love you too and you truly are my Baronet in shining armour; you have given me back my life and I look forward to living it with you. Shall we always be this happy because right now I think I will explode with happiness?"

"I will make you deliriously happy, Lady Strallan, and now you can forget the last few fraught months and look forward to the future."

She looked into his eyes and realised at that moment just how much she really did love and need him.

"You're looking a little peaky Edith dear," Violet said.

"I have a chance of a new life without worry now Granny so I am sure Anthony's love and care will help me pick myself up."

"I know it's been a huge strain for you, Edith dear. Look after her Sir Anthony,"

Anthony placed his right hand over his heart.

"Your granddaughter is extremely precious to me, Lady Grantham, so I shall take the best care of her."

"Where are you going on honeymoon?"

"We opted for Scotland; with all this threatening talk of war Europe is not the safest option at present but Dr Clarkson reassures me that the restorative air in Scotland and the sea breezes will do wonders for Edith's health."

"I don't care where we go as long as Anthony is with me," Edith said as she gently rubbed the small of his back.

OO

Pretty soon they were in the car being driven home to Locksley; Edith nestled close to her husband.

"Anthony darling, I want you to know something."

"What's that my sweet?"

"That day when we were talking to my father I said that I did not truly enjoy the act of love but I did; I just would have enjoyed it more had I loved Mr Pamuk but I love you so I think I shall very much. I am so sorry though because I had always wanted to be a virgin bride and I am not."

"I'm a bit out of practise, Lady Strallan," he said, "but I shall do my best to make it special for us both."

"I know you will," she held his hand tightly.

When they got out at Locksley Anthony swept her up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. She had her arms about his neck.

"Welcome home Lady Strallan" he said.

"Thank you my darling,"

The house had been decorated with vases of sweet smelling flowers. Anthony set Edith down on the floor. She seemed totally overwhelmed by it all and he gently led her to the sofa and had her sit down.

He pressed a glass of white wine into her hand. He then poured one for himself and sat beside her. He put his arm around her.

"Edith darling," he whispered, "I love you. You have been through a difficult time but, god willing, that is over now and I am here for you. I don't for one moment expect you to forget about Mr Pamuk just like that. These things take time and you can talk to me anytime about anything you want. I have shoulders broad enough for you to cry on. I didn't know you then and am not jealous but I want you to feel better about yourself Edith. You are beautiful and I can see the spark of life in your eyes. I want to light that spark for you my darling."

"Oh Anthony, you are such a dear sweet honourable man and I love you so much. I promise I will try because you have seen my true worth which I cannot see."

"Edith, may I kiss you? Properly I mean,"

"Yes of course. A man has no need to ask his wife's permission."

He leant over and kissed her gently on the lips. His arms drew her close to him and she could feel his heart beating against her chest. Her own pulse pounded in her ears.

"Anthony darling," she murmured. His mouth explored hers, his tongue gently parted her lips and she soon responded, holding him close and tightly. The kiss deepened and became more passionate as his mouth moved to caress her throat and moved down to the hollow of her neck which he gently grazed with his lips before moving up to her ear lobe. Her eyes opened wide as the kiss intensified further and she closed her eyes for a moment. She had imagined what kissing him would be like of course. Thanks to Kamal Pamuk and that night she was not a stranger to kisses but his had lacked everything that Anthony's was giving her. Edith felt sweat trickle down her back and her erect nipples strain against her wedding dress. She knew that she would just let him love her. She sighed as his hands caressed her back and their breathing became ragged. She did not want the kiss to end as she melted into him. She felt more alive at that moment than she had ever felt.

He pulled back from her and looked into her eyes; smiled as he saw the bright spark there.

"Anthony, I have never been kissed like that. It was...incredibly sensual and stirring,"

"It was the most involved loving kiss I have ever known," he said gently, "It has brought you to life my darling."

They sat and talked for a while as they drank their wine. Then he got to his feet and took her hands in his. She stood up; she was shaking but this time with pure emotion and a sudden longing to become his wife in the truest sense.

He swept her into his arms once again and carried her upstairs without even breaking a sweat. He showed her the room that had been set aside for her with a small en suite dressing room and bathroom.

"You don't have to share my bed, not if you don't want to," he said gently as he put her down but she pressed herself up against him.

"I want to share my gorgeous loving noble husband's bed," she said. She leaned close and whispered seductively in his ear. "Anthony darling, I want you to make love to me. I have this overwhelming desire to become your wife in every sense. I want to feel your hands undress and caress my naked body, taste the heat of your mouth on mine and moan with desire as you take me and make me your own Lady Strallan."

"You're trembling," he whispered.

"I can't help it my love, I want you so very much."

He was trembling now; the heat in her words arousing him and making him want to take her for his own.

OO

Once in his bedchamber she melted against him and kissed him so hard it took his breath away as she rubbed herself against him, feeling his need even as her own slowly trickled from inside her.

She undressed him, her fingers deftly working the buttons and removing his shirt to reveal his smooth well defined chest with a smattering of dark blonde hair. Her tongue swirled around his erect nipples making him shiver and moan softly, "Oh Edith,"

Her hands roamed across his back and buttocks, caressing sensuously. She was shocked by how incredibly wanton she felt at that moment, He removed his trousers and her eyes opened wide as she glimpsed his arousal. He was a big man; big and deliciously hard and she felt aroused at the prospect of feeling him inside her. No need for guilt this time for this was her husband.

He gently removed her wedding dress easing it off her shoulders so it fell to the floor revealing slender limbs, a flat stomach and well defined thigh muscles and small yet pert breasts.

"My God, you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen," he gasped blinking tears from his blue eyes.

"You're pretty gorgeous yourself Sir Anthony Strallan," she murmured as she gently pushed him back on their bed against the soft pillows.

She straddled him sinking effortlessly onto his huge erection and gripping his thighs with hers she rode him hard. Her small breasts swayed as she sank onto him, craving the release as his long steady strokes caressed her wet space. Her hands glided across his chest and shoulders as she leaned down to caress his mouth with hers. He trembled violently. He rolled her onto her back in one strong fluid motion and took her hard as her arms went around his neck. She pushed against him hard and fast until they sweated and panted like thirsty dogs.

"Anthony," she moaned loudly, "Oh my darling Anthony,"

"Edith," he moaned as he ejaculated inside her moments later.

He took her in his arms and held her close. Her head rested on his chest and his fingertips trailed down her naked back.

"I have never felt as alive as I do right now," she breathed.

"My god you are so beautiful, you seem so alive and you're mine," he gasped, "So my beautiful Lady Strallan, now you've had your wicked way with me what do you intend to do with me?"

She propped herself up on one elbow and looked into his eyes.

"I intend to make you deliriously happy, look after you, provide you with my first class company and give you babies; not necessarily in that order of course."

"Well you have already done the first one," he said, "but I look forward to the rest."

"I owe you so much for rescuing me, Anthony darling, but I will give everything of myself because I want to, not because I have to."

He kissed her tenderly and moments later they drifted off to sleep their bodies entwined.

OO

Three days later Britain declared war on Kaiser Bill but Sir Anthony & Lady Strallan at that point had no indication of just what role the war would play in their lives both together and how their roles would be reversed.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Anthony Strallan lay awake in the early hours of the morning. He lay very still so as not to disturb Edith who lay sleeping in his arms.

It was the early spring of nineteen fifteen; they had been happily married for just over six months now and he could not remember a time when he had been more content. She had certainly come to life since their marriage and no longer seemed fragile; in fact she was bursting with health and vitality and just being with her made him so happy. She was tender and passionate with a real enthusiasm for her new role as mistress of Locksley. She often went out and about the estate with him and he was encouraged by her suggestions. When she was not about with him she was just as happy at the house and his servants loved her for they had waited a long time for a new Lady Strallan and the fact that she made their master so happy further endeared her to them. She had truly flourished knowing that she was no longer second best and her confidence had blossomed. Now that she was able to put her sordid mistake behind her and flourish under his love and attention she finally knew what it meant to be truly happy.

Edith began to stir and looked into his blue eyes.

"Good morning my love," he said gently nuzzling her neck.

"I had a lovely dream about you," she said.

"I thought you had because of your beautiful smile,"

They kissed tenderly.

But Anthony _was_ worried. From the beginning of the war he had had concerns about being called up. His knowledge of European current affairs and history as well as the fact he spoke French and German near enough fluently made him sure Military Intelligence would require him sooner or later. He had raised the subject with her for he had found he could hold nothing back from the woman he loved. She had been fearful but assured him that she would support him if the summons came. After all he had supported her and rescued her from near ruination. He was certain that she did not appreciate the enormity of it but he was grateful for her love and support. She truly was everything to him.

They drank tea in their room after making love for a while. She gave everything of herself to him each time and he gave back the same. She made him feel years younger and her skin glowed with their passion.

"You are such a wonderful lover Anthony darling," she murmured as she rested her coppery head on his broad chest, "You are so tender, so strong and you just make me so alive."

"You make me feel alive too, Edith; in fact you make me feel years younger."

"I love you so very much." she said.

Edith was concerned because she had fainted twice in the last week and been sick after he had gone out. She was sure she knew what it meant. The idea of carrying Anthony's baby both terrified and exhilarated her. Wartime was scarcely a good time for a woman to fall pregnant, she knew that, but she also knew that nature rarely observed the mood of the times.

That morning she went to see Dr Clarkson who examined her carefully.

"You're definitely pregnant Lady Strallan," he told her, "I would estimate you are almost four months along so you will show soon but you have no need to worry because you have a good husband and I will do my utmost to take care of you,"

"It is wonderful news," Edith gasped.

OO

When she returned to Locksley Anthony was sitting in the library looking solemn and drinking tea. He asked the butler to bring a second cup which he did.

Edith stood behind her husband and began massaging his neck and shoulders; her strong fingers eased the tension out of him and he smiled up at her as he felt himself relax at her ministrations. She took such wonderful care of him which made the news he had to impart even more difficult. He feared leaving her.

"Anthony my love, whatever is wrong?" she asked as she sat beside him and took his hands in hers.

"Oh Edith my love," he swallowed hard, "I had a letter from Military intelligence this morning. They have commandeered my services and I cannot get out of it even for your sake. I promised your father I was marrying you to take care of and protect you but how can I do that from mainland Europe?"

Edith's eyes filled with tears as she put her arms around him and pulled him close.

"We knew this might happen, my love," she whispered, "I would think less of you for not doing your bit. You are the most noble and dutiful man I know so I know you will do great credit to your King and country. I love you so much and am so proud of you. Yes it will be a nightmare for me worrying about you daily but better that than a white feather,"

"Oh Edith darling, I could not have thought of leaving you six months ago for you were so fragile and almost afraid of your own shadow but you are stronger now and more than settled here. I know my staff will look after you and you can always go home too if you wish."

"If the worst happens then it will be a willing sacrifice of the man I love and if you get injured then I will take care of you as a wife should. "

He held her tightly.

"You have a very wise head on your shoulders which belies your youth," he said.

"I hope this won't make things harder but I cannot keep this from you," she kissed him, "I have been to see Dr Clarkson and I am nearly four months pregnant."

"Oh Edith my darling," he held her, "That is wonderful news because it gives me something to hope for and a reason to fight; to make this country a safe place for our baby."

They kissed passionately.

"Edith, as your time gets nearer I would appreciate you going home to your family because I will worry less."

"Anthony, the son or daughter of Sir Anthony Strallan should be born at Locksley. Dr Clarkson will be there and anyone I want from Downton can come. Please let me stay here in the one place that has truly been my home."

"You're right of course," he said, "I can't deny you anything my darling because I know you feel your true worth here."

"When do you have to leave?" she asked; her heart pounding.

"I have three weeks," he said, "and believe me my darling; we will make every moment of every day of that time count so we can make some memories for us."

"I like the sound of that, Anthony my love," she whispered as she looked deep into his lovely blue eyes.

OO

Those few weeks passed all too soon. Everyone at Downton was delighted with the news that Edith was pregnant and they seemed to understand that Anthony needed to do his duty although Edith suspected her father was a little envious so he had not been summoned.

"Edith must come and stay here with us, especially when her time comes" Cora said.

"Thank you Lady Grantham but she is quite content to remain at Locksley for she believes a Strallan baby must be born there,"

"As you wish," Cora said. In truth she was a little hurt but she understood because she knew Edith thrived on her new life and responsibilities at Locksley and she hadn't the heart to press her point. Her daughter was a true survivor.

OO

Edith stood with her husband on the platform at York station and they held each other tightly. He had said he would write as soon as he had a fixed address and she promised to write back and they had a feeling that they would be alright. Anthony knew his love for her was strong enough to survive anything. Just how much testing that would stand was something they as yet had no need to contemplate.


	10. Chapter 10

Paste

**Chapter 10**

The weeks passed and Edith stubbornly remained at Locksley. She was Lady Strallan, the mistress of the estate, and she felt she owed it to her beloved husband to remain there. She felt stifled at Downton and always had but at Locksley Anthony's servants deferred to her and took the best care of her knowing that their master would expect no less.

She received her first letter from Anthony which brought tears to her eyes but it was a great comfort for her to be able to tell the servants that their master was well.

OO

_My darling Edith_

_Just a few lines to let you know all is well. I am unable to reveal my location or the nature of the work I am doing but I am confident that it will make a real difference to the progress of the war._

_My sweet darling Lady Strallan, I miss you terribly and nights are loneliest. I do hope that you are not afraid and I know you will be alright. I trust all is well with the baby and I can't wait to hold my heir in my arms. I admire you for standing up to your mother about giving birth at Locksley but you know you must do whatever feels best for you when the time comes and please my darling, if Dr Clarkson advises otherwise do listen to him._

_Being away from you makes me realise just how much you mean to me. I look at your photograph every day and sleep with it under my pillow. When I am out it is never far from me in my breast pocket. I love you, Edith; more than I thought was possible. You are my last thought before sleeping and my first upon waking. I really hope to get some leave around the time the baby is due but I cannot make a cast iron promise. I am sure you understand that because I am not my own man at the moment but I am always yours first and foremost in the heart where it matters._

_I love you my darling and will write as soon as I am able. Please give my best to the servants and to your family_

_Your darling_

_Anthony xxx_

OO

_My darling Anthony_

_It was a delight to get your letter and know that you are well._

_I miss you terribly but am trying to keep busy. I take care of the household duties but leave the seriously heavy stuff to the estate workers because I have no intention of putting myself and our child at risk._

_Dr Clarkson is confident that all is as it should be with the baby. He or she is the right way up and growing right but obviously I do worry because of Maud. Sometimes Anthony junior kicks me all night; I think he is training to play soccer for England but I am just so happy. I can't wait to meet him or her. I hope he does turn out to be a little boy in his father's image with blonde hair and enormous blue eyes._

_The nights are lonely but I am surviving as I think of the memories that we have already made together and concentrate on the memories we will make when we become a family. I went to tea at Granny's the other day and she tried to persuade me to have the baby at Downton but that is not what I want and I think she got the message in the end._

_It would be wonderful if you were here when the baby comes but I understand it may not be possible and rest assured I will understand._

_I love you more than I ever thought possible too. I sleep with our wedding photo under my pillow and sometimes I shed a few tears but your love has made me a lot stronger than I was so I know that we can get through anything simply because we love each other._

_I hope to hear from you soon my darling. Until then I remain_

_Your lovely Lady Strallan xxx_

_OO_

The months passed. Edith & Anthony wrote fairly regularly and his letters, filled with love, cheered her up no end. As her time came nearer she sought out the company of the female servants. Shortly after their marriage Anthony had engaged a lady's maid for her. Roisin was a pretty young girl from Limerick City. She was a couple of years older than Edith and a devout Catholic. Her parents had died when she was a baby so she had been raised by nuns although she had no vocation for the religious life.

OO

Anthony was summoned by his superior officer.

"You're doing a first-rate job, Major Strallan, but I would like you to take some leave. I know Lady Strallan is due anytime now and you should go to her."

"Thank you," Anthony said, "It would mean so much to me and to my wife."

Anthony was given some travel permits and a letter which would enable him to commandeer a military car and driver once he arrived at Dover. That evening found him on his way to Calais.

OO

Cora and Sybil had come round for afternoon tea.

"Edith I do wish you would come home to give birth," Cora said.

"Mama, I want to have my husband's baby here in our home. I am sorry but my mind is made up. Locksley is my home now."

Edith felt a sharp twinge just then, which she tried to ignore. She then felt another and a look of pain passed across her face. She felt something wet trickle down her legs.

"Anthony's baby has confirmed my decision," she gasped, "My waters just broke."

Edith rang for the butler and asked him to telephone Dr Clarkson immediately.

Roisin and Sybil helped Edith upstairs to her own room. It was the first time she had ever used it as she much preferred to share her husband's bed. Cora hovered in the doorway.

"Dr Clarkson is on his way," she said.

They stripped Edith to her underclothes while Roisin fetched towels and warm water.

Edith moaned softly as she went through another contraction. Sybil held her sister's hand.

"I want Anthony," Edith wailed.

"I know you do my darling," Cora soothed. "But men are pretty useless when it gets to this stage because they only get in the way."

"Well I suppose it is a blessing in a way after what he went through last time with the first Lady Strallan,"

"Don't talk," Cora soothed, "Just save your energy."

Just then Dr Clarkson came in and there were sighs of relief all round.

OO

Anthony pressed north as fast as was humanly possible. He had tried to telephone Locksley but the line was engaged so he guessed Edith was talking to someone.

OO

"You're doing really well Edith," Sybil encouraged, "I'm sure it won't be long."

"I'm worn out," Edith gasped.

"I can see the head," Clarkson said, "I want you to push now Lady Strallan, push as hard as you can."

Edith pushed hard and winced at the pain of the effort. She wanted her husband desperately knowing what the moment would mean to him. Clarkson had assured Cora, as Edith's mother, that there would be no complications and there was no distress on the child's part for which they were all thankful.

Oakley the faithful old butler opened the door and gave a huge sigh of relief to see his master standing on the doorstep wielding his kitbag.

"It is good to see you master, Lady Strallan is in labour at present but all appears to be well. Dr Clarkson is here as well as Lady Grantham and Lady Sybil who are here helping out."

"Thank god," Anthony breathed glad that his wife had got her wish.

Edith pushed again and the baby was ejected followed by a stream of sticky embryonic fluid. Clarkson clamped and cut the cord and passed the baby to Sybil who washed him and wrapped him in a towel before placing him at Edith's breast.

"Congratulations, Lady Strallan, you have a son."

Just then Roisin appeared in the doorway.

"My lady, the master is home."

Tears streamed down Edith's face for she was tired and emotional. The beautiful baby in her arms sucked at her breast.

"You will be fine Lady Strallan; I will come and check on you tomorrow." Clarkson said.

He descended the stairs and shook Anthony's hand.

"You have a son," he said, "He is healthy and Lady Strallan is well albeit tired. There were no complications,"

"Thank God," Anthony breathed, "if I lost her..."

Anthony took the stairs two at a time and was in the room in moments. Cora and Sybil retreated.

"Anthony," Edith's eyes filled with tears, "Oh my darling I am so glad to see you."

He was beside her in moments cradling both her and the baby in his arms.

"He's beautiful," he gasped ruffling the baby's soft downy hair, "Thank you so much my beloved Lady Strallan and you got your wish too, being able to have him here where you truly belong."

He placed the baby in the crib and gathered Edith too him where his eyes filled with tears and he sobbed with relief and joy to be home.

your document here...


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Cora & Sybil returned to Downton just after midnight. Robert and Mary were still up.

"Edith has a beautiful baby boy," Cora said, "there were no complications and she is just so happy. Also Anthony turned up just as it was all over and he is thoroughly delighted."

"I expect it must be a huge relief for him," Robert said, "after losing his first wife and child within hours of each other."

"I never knew that," Sybil gasped, "I mean I knew he was a widower but I never knew how his wife died and that there was a baby."

"It was about ten years ago, Sybil," Robert said, "We probably talked about it but you girls would have been too young to understand."

"Well it's wonderful to see Edith so happy," Sybil said, "She's really come to life since she got married. When her maid came to say that Anthony was home her face absolutely lit up."

"Well he did save her reputation," Mary said.

Sybil yawned. "Well I'm off to bed. Goodnight," she kissed Cora and Robert, "Goodnight Auntie Mary,"

"Goodnight Auntie Sybil." Sybil left the room.

"Being called Auntie made me feel ancient," Mary complained.

"Well how old do you think being grandparents makes your father and I feel?" Cora countered.

OO

Edith was too tired to move from her room that night so Anthony undressed and got into bed beside her. He held her tightly and nuzzled her neck and shoulder.

"I have missed you so much," he whispered.

"I have missed you too," she kissed him enjoying the sensation of having his strong arms around her and his warm body against hers. She closed her eyes for a moment and inhaled his masculine aroma; a blend of sweat, shaving soap and cologne, "I will try my best not to wake you as I will have to get up and feed him at some point and you must be exhausted after travelling all that way."

"I wish I could help,"

"Sadly you can't as you are not lactating but to tell you the truth I find it a bit uncomfortable so perhaps I can get some formula then you can feed him too,"

"We'll talk about that tomorrow my darling," he nuzzled the hollow of her neck sending shivers through her, "I have two months for us to make some special memories, the three of us, and before I return we can make some deliciously private ones," he winked at her.

They fell asleep together and Edith felt so warm and safe; she smiled in her sleep as it was good to be reminded how much her husband loved her and how good being close to him really felt. The baby slept in a Moses basket on the bureau.

OO

Anthony stirred to find Edith sitting in the chair feeding their son.

"I'm sorry to wake you," she whispered.

"That's alright my darling. I'm just so happy to finally be a father because I didn't think I ever would. I am so glad you made it through as well because if I had lost you..." his voice trailed off.

"I'm not ready to be lost Anthony my darling,"

"I would have been a bag of nerves if I had been here throughout, especially after what happened the last time."

The baby finished feeding so Edith brought up the wind and placed him in his father's arms.

"He'll never want for love," she murmured, "and he will idolise you,"

"Hello Anthony Jonathan Strallan," Anthony whispered as tears filled his blue eyes, "Oh Edith I love you even more now for making me a father; having an heir to take my name and inherit my beloved home fills me with hope like never before. He is so beautiful and I love him so much."

"I think we did a pretty good job my love,"

"You did the hard part my darling and I am just so proud of you. Do you realise that when you saw me this evening you came to life?"

"I was so glad to see you; you look absolutely heart stopping gorgeous in Army uniform,"

"Do I now?" he got up and placed Anthony back in the Moses basket. The child was already sleeping.

She had got back into bed and he joined her; taking her in his arms and nuzzling the hollow of her neck.

"I want you to rest my love and we can enjoy the time I have,"

"Is it really bad out there?" she whispered, "I worry for you every moment of every day and sometimes I have nightmares about bad things happening to you,"

"I've seen sights I would sooner not have seen," he said, "But I don't want you to fret about any of that. You are safe here and that gives me great peace of mind."

They went to sleep in each other's arms.

OO

Anthony rang for tea the next morning and it was brought. They relaxed totally and she lay back in her husband's arms; enjoying his nearness.

They spent a couple of days just the three of them. Dr Clarkson gave them a clean bill of health and he arranged for Edith to have some formula milk so Anthony could help with feeding his son. Edith realised that she was more in love with him than ever and she just made the most of having him around. The servants too were delighted to have their master around. Anthony knew that returning would be a huge emotional wrench so resolved to try not to think about it until the time came.

They invited Robert, Cora, Mary, Sybil and Violet around to see baby Anthony. They were all besotted with him and they could see just how delighted Anthony was with his son.

"Make some memories," Violet advised them, "they will help you when you're apart."

"We fully intend to Granny," Edith said.

OO

Baby Anthony grew and thrived. Edith's eyes filled with tears whenever she saw father and son together. The first time Anthony fed his son with a bottle of formula milk Edith almost sobbed with joy. Anthony engaged a nurse to help Edith with the baby and Roisin did her bit as well.

Two nights before Anthony was due to return to the war they went for dinner at Downton. Isobel and Matthew were there and Edith was glad to see Matthew was on leave. He and Anthony talked about their experiences.

Isobel fussed over baby Anthony who had beautiful blue eyes just like his father.

"He is beautiful Edith dear, congratulations,"

"Anthony is absolutely delighted with him," Edith said, "honestly cousin Isobel, when I see them together my heart just melts."

"I felt the same way when Matthew was a baby and I saw him and his father together," Isobel ruffled little Anthony's hair, "he will be a great comfort to you while his father is away."

"I know he will," Edith saw that Anthony and Matthew were still deep in conversation. She lowered her voice.

"I fear for him every day he is away from me cousin Isobel; I know that you can understand this better than anyone else here. If he is injured then I will dutifully care for him as I married him for better or worse and I meant every word. But if he is killed..."

"It is better not to think about these things until they happen," Isobel said, "but believe me, Edith, I do understand."

"I know," Edith said

OO

When they returned to Locksley it was late evening. Edith fed the baby and gave him to the nursemaid. She then put her arms around her husband and pressed close to him, well aware of his stiffening manhood and of her own desire. Anthony's fingertips trailed down his wife's back in a sensual caress.

"Let's go and make some deliciously erotic and private memories, my beloved Lady Strallan," he murmured into her coppery hair.

He kissed her hard enough to take her breath away and their hungry mouths explored and caressed. He swept here up into his strong arms and carried her upstairs where he laid her on the bed.

She got up and moments later fingers were deftly unfastening buttons and mouths caressing and licking. Edith removed his shirt and her mouth began to caress his throat low into the hollow of his neck which drove him crazy. She let her tongue swirl around his nipples which she gently nibbled. He gently pushed her back onto the bed and lay beside her. His mouth began to explore her pert full breasts which he gently caressed with his tongue. He moved down to her sex and his tongue ran slowly and teasingly along her slit before gently parting her labia and sucking gently as his mouth caressed her. He flicked her engorged clitoris from its hiding place and gently sucked. Edith arched her back and her eyes opened wide.

"Anthony," she moaned loudly from the back of her throat.

He continued to pleasure her body; sending huge tidal waves of desire ripping through her slender form. He liked to torture her gently with his mouth making the desire build until she literally begged him to enter her. He was aroused by her trembling body.

"Anthony," she almost screamed, "Oh god I think I shall die if you don't take me right now,"

Her hungry sex easily devoured his engorged penis and she began to caress his back and shoulders before her hands roamed down to caress his buttocks sensuously. She pushed up against him hard and fast until they were slicked with sweat and panting like thirsty dogs.

"Edith," he called her name aloud as he ejaculated inside her. Moments later she was calling his name.

"Anthony, oh my god Anthony I love you, I love you,"

"I love you too my darling beautiful Lady Strallan," he murmured.

She lay in his arms inhaling his musky post coital smell as she licked his salty skin. God he tasted lovely. Sometimes she found it hard to believe that this gentle gorgeous brave man loved her given what she had been when they had first met but he did and the little baby down the hallway was definitive proof of their love and passion.

"I need to talk to you seriously my darling," he said trailing his fingertips down her naked back.

"I know,"

"If, for whatever reason, I never come home then I want you to be very brave and very strong. In time I will be happy if you found someone else to be a father to our son. You are young yet and could make a new life for yourself although Locksley will be yours. I would rather have had just tonight in your arms than a lifetime without."

"I could never love anyone else," she protested.

"I did," he murmured, "When I lost Maud and my son I despaired of ever sharing my life with another woman but then you came along. I am not saying the worst will happen but it is something you might have to face one day. If I return injured or otherwise incapacitated then..."

"I shall take care of you," she said firmly, "I married you for better or worse Sir Anthony Strallan and I meant every single word. I admire you so much and it would be a privilege to take care of a war hero, a privilege not a burden and I want you to be sure to understand that. I hear rumours that Downton is to become a military hospital and if so I want you sent there."

"I would rather be at Downton than in some god forsaken place behind the front line, my darling. But I really hope neither of the worst case scenarios come to pass."

"So do I," she said, "but we need to be prepared,"

"I am so proud of you for your maturity my darling," he kissed her hard, "I cherish you so much and I dread those long nights apart from you. At least I can recall every detail of our loving to warm me."

"I will miss you so much but I am so very proud of you, Anthony and I always will be. Our son could have no better man to follow as an example of what men should be."

"I am proud of you too, Edith darling. When we met you were so fragile and vulnerable but you have grown so much and are strong and confident. I am glad to have had a small part in that although most of it has come from within you. It is a privilege to love you and to just be with you. "

OO

Two days later Edith went to the station to see him off. It was far harder than it had been the first time because he knew he was now leaving his son too and they both cried a bit as they kissed goodbye.

When the train pulled out and she could no longer see him through the steam she stood for a moment looking down the platform and wondering when she would see her beloved husband again.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

**A/N: Parts of this chapter were hard to write and you may need some tissues. Here we see a sign of Anthony's intellectual brilliance and a shift in confidence.**

Six months passed. Edith did her best to keep busy with her duties at Locksley and taking care of her son. Tom Branson, her father's Irish radical chauffeur, had also taught her to drive. She had not mentioned this to Anthony in any of her letters because she wanted to surprise him when he next came home on leave.

Little Anthony was a strong sturdy little boy who was beginning to look very much like a miniature version of his father. He was playful and happy which made Edith love him all the more.

But Anthony was never far from her thoughts; she thought of him constantly and every night she relived each caress of their last night together. He was just so gorgeous, such a wonderful lover, and she also replayed the serious conversation they had had. She knew, in spite of what he had said that she would never love again were the worst to happen to her husband. He was the one true love of her life.

**OO**

Major Anthony Strallan lay face down in the cold soil. He was cold and the pain in his right arm and shoulder ripped through him every time he moved. His face was streaked with dirt and tears as he thought of his beloved Lady Strallan and his son. He wondered if his son had taken his first steps yet and what his first word would be; he thought of anything he could to take his mind off the situation he was in and the pain he felt.

"Oh darling Edith," he muttered through gritted teeth, "Will I ever see you again?"

There appeared to be no one to help him so he resolved he would somehow have to get to a military hospital under his own steam. Thankfully there was nothing wrong with his legs but his head ached as the sound of the bullet echoed through his thoughts. He had to try and piece together his account of how he had got here because a conviction for treason depended on it. He slowly and painfully hauled himself to his feet and panic set in as he found he could not move his right arm. The pain was terrible.

He had set out on a reconnaissance mission with a man he had come to trust and after that day's events he knew he would never again trust another living soul other than his beloved wife. Anthony had been carrying a dispatch case containing documents of a sensitive nature to which he wasn't privy for his own protection. However he had employed a clever trick. The model of dispatch case in question had a secret compartment. Anthony had concealed the real documents in this compartment and replaced them with a cleverly coded set which would, unbeknown to any thief; mark him out as a traitor. That morning Anthony had gone into the lavatory and made the switch. But he could not concentrate on any of this now. The pain was hell. Who knew how much blood he had lost? His head swam and he passed out cold.

OO

Oblivious to what was happening to her husband, Lady Edith Strallan, was continuing her business as usual. She had taken her son to Violet's for afternoon tea.

"How are you Edith dear?" Violet asked.

"I'm coping, Granny; terribly worried of course but my Anthony is a survivor. I have to believe that else I will go mad. Sometimes when I'm alone at night I imagine all sorts of horrors and I can't stop crying but when I wake up it is business as usual because I have to portray some sense of normality for the child's sake."

"He certainly looks like his father," Violet said smiling at the little boy who scrambled onto her lap.

"Yes he does and that is both a comfort and a curse right now."

"He will come home Edith dear," Violet soothed, "I never realised just how much you two really do love each other. I was grateful to him for saving you, for saving all of us from scandal but I know he really wants to be with you and all I have ever wanted is for my granddaughter's to be happy."

"Thank you Granny; he is a good friend as well as a husband and lover."

"He is a true gentleman Edith and I hope that both Mary and Sybil are fortunate enough to find husbands as decent as he is."

"Did you know Cousin Isobel has gone to France?"

"Yes I had heard," Violet said, "I think Major Clarkson is glad to have her out of his hair."

"Oh Granny you are silly; he is totally besotted with her as is she with him. The sparks that fly between them can suggest nothing else."

OO

When Anthony came to he was lying on clean white sheets and covered by a blanket, He tried to move and let out a sharp cry of pain although it had somewhat dulled. His head felt foggy and his limbs felt like lead; the ones he could move at least.

He wondered how he had got here. As things swam into sharp focus he was aware of a woman in nurse's uniform making her way towards his bed.

"Major Strallan," the nurse said.

"Yes"

"It's good to see you are awake; you had us worried for a while. We have given you morphine and a blood transfusion. The wound is nasty but a doctor will be coming shortly to talk to you about that. Is there anyone at home you want us to notify?"

"Yes," Anthony's throat was dry, "My wife, Lady Edith Strallan. How long have I been here?"

"Three days but you have been under sedation for much of that time. Your commanding officer has been notified."

"The papers I was carrying," Anthony coughed, his throat was dry and the nurse held a glass of water to his pale lips.

"The case was recovered but there were no papers inside,"

Anthony froze before he remembered the coded message and the secret compartment.

"Are you hungry?" the nurse asked.

"Yes but I feel rather queasy so am not sure I could keep it down."

"I can get you some soup and help you."

"No need," Anthony forced a smile, "I'm ambidextrous so can use my left hand as well as my right."

OO

Isobel Crawley walked into the ward. Not for the first time since leaving Downton she wondered if she was doing the right thing. She missed Major Clarkson more than she had realised and this place was like another world.

The nurse who had been speaking to Anthony approached her.

"Mrs Crawley, we have a patient from your neck of the woods. A Major Anthony Strallan,"

Isobel froze and thought she might faint. The nurse helped her sit.

"Are you alright Mrs Crawley?"

"Yes. It's just that I know Major Strallan's wife. What is wrong with him?"

"He has taken a bullet in the shoulder and lost the use of his right arm."

"Oh god," Isobel turned pale, "How did that happen?"

"I don't know all the details yet Mrs Crawley. He's been sedated since he was brought here three days ago and it has only just worn off but he has been in a lot of pain."

"Do you mind if I contact his wife?"

"That would be a help Mrs Crawley, people take bad news better when it comes from someone they know; at least in my experience,"

"And might I sit with him a while? It would help him to see someone he knows although she isn't his beloved wife."

"Do you think his wife would come here to see him?"

"I'm not sure if it's practical. She has an eight month old son she would not want to leave and she would not expose him to danger but her family home – she is the second daughter of the Earl of Grantham – is currently functioning as a military hospital for convalescing officers."

"You would need to speak to the doctor but I think that that would be a move in the right direction."

The nurse took Isobel to Anthony's bedside.

"Mrs Crawley, what on earth are you doing here?" Anthony gasped.

"I thought I would be more appreciated elsewhere, Sir Anthony. All Clarkson and I ever do is argue and I can't satisfy Cousin Cora no matter what I do or don't do."

"Is Matthew alright?"

"I have heard nothing to the contrary,"

"Would you telephone Edith for me? It may be better coming from you."

Isobel placed her hand over his, "of course I will,"

"I'm still trying to get my head around what happened; about being possibly maimed for life and wondering if my wife will still want me."

"Edith loves you, of course she will."

"I don't feel so sure at this moment in time," he winced as he felt a stabbing pain down his back." His blue eyes filled with tears and Isobel held his left hand, "Mrs Crawley if she no longer wants me then I may as well put a bullet in my head."

"Anthony, Edith loves you very much and all she will want to do is take care of you. She married you for better or worse and she is a lady who keeps her promises."

"I know but I just have so many crazy thoughts going through my head right now."

"It's understandable,"

Just then a tall man in army uniform came across with the nurse.

"Mrs Crawley this is my commanding officer Colonel Marshall, Sir this is Mrs Crawley, a friend from back home."

Marshall offered Isobel his hand and she shook it.

"I will go and telephone to Lady Strallan," she said.

When Isobel had left Marshall sat beside the bed.

"Major Strallan you have done your King and country a great service; the men who stole the false documents were arrested for treason two days ago. I must applaud you for that was a jolly smart move of yours concealing the real papers which are still in British hands. By your quick thinking you may well have altered the whole course of the war in our favour and given that you were injured in the line of duty you may well have earned yourself a DSO if not a VC. I am jolly glad to serve with you."

Anthony's eyes were filled with tears.

"I know it must be dashed awful being stuck here but I will use my influence to get you to a military hospital in England where they have better equipment and surgical knowledge; they are limited here although they do a first rate job with what they have available."

"Thank you Sir," Anthony swallowed, "Mrs Crawley will try and get me into Downton as it is a military hospital at present. That is if Lady Strallan wants a crippled husband."

"Of course she will dear man, you are a hero," Marshall said placing a hand on Anthony's left shoulder.

They talked for a while before Marshall left.

That night Anthony lay awake for hours; the pain thankfully numbed by morphine. Despite reassurance from both Marshall and Isobel he knew he would never believe Edith would still want him; at least not until he heard it from her own lips and felt them against his. God he would not even be able to hold her or his son properly.

Finally Major Strallan drifted into a drug induced sleep haunted by his own fears and insecurities.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

**A/N: Since it was Edith involved with Pamuk in this story there is no need for either Sir Richard Carlisle or Lavinia in this story; I am assuming that Mary and Matthew never broke up and are having a long engagement.**

While Anthony was talking to Colonel Marshall Isobel went into one of the empty doctor's rooms. Her schoolgirl French was sufficient to enable her to get a call connected to Locksley. Anthony's butler answered the telephone.

"Locksley House, Oakley the butler speaking."

"Mr Oakley? It's Mrs Isobel Crawley telephoning from France. Please may I speak to Lady Strallan?"

"Certainly Mrs Crawley, hold on for a moment please."

Oakley went into the library where Edith was reading from a slim volume of John Donne. She loved his verse; its erotic quality brought to mind the delightful pleasures she and Anthony had shared.

"Lady Strallan there is a telephone call for you. It's a Mrs Crawley calling from France."

"Thank you Oakley, I will come at once."

Edith went out into the hallway and perched on the chair beside the telephone table.

She lifted the receiver.

"Cousin Isobel?"

"Ah Edith dear, I have some news for you."

Edith swallowed. Was she to be told her beloved husband was dead?

"What is it cousin Isobel?" there was an urgency in her voice.

"Edith dear, Anthony was brought into the hospital where I am volunteering a few days ago. He has been shot. He has been under sedation for a couple of days and in a lot of pain but he is alive and he asked me to telephone you."

"Is the injury bad?"

"I have not had time to discuss the matter with a doctor as yet but at present he has no use of his right arm or hand. He is pretty desolate."

Edith choked back sobs.

"Edith," Isobel said gently, "He asked me to tell you that he loves you and little Anthony very much and he wants to come home. I will get onto Major Clarkson to see if he can come to Downton."

"Thank you Cousin Isobel," Edith was fighting back tears and Isobel could hear, despite the mediocre connection, that she was having a real fight containing her emotions.

"He will be alright won't he?" she faltered.

"Yes he will. He is seeing the surgeon in the morning to discuss matters with regard to his injury. He is worried however that you will no longer want him but I have done my best to reassure him on this point because, if there was ever a couple meant to be together, it is the two of you."

"Cousin Isobel I want you to tell him that little Anthony and I love him very much and to remind him that I married him for better or worse. He has no need to worry because I am so proud of him and he is my hero. Tell him all I want is to have my husband home where I can be a proper wife to him."

"I think that will make him feel much better," Isobel said.

"What were the circumstances of the shooting?"

"I don't know myself but he is currently speaking with his commanding officer and I daresay more details will come to light soon."

"If I did not have my son I would be on the next train to Dover," Edith said.

"We will get him home Edith, I promise."

"I know." Edith blinked away tears, "I am so glad he is alive. Oh god I love him so very much."

"I know you do and he knows that too."

Isobel rang off and Edith stood for a moment before putting the receiver down.

Little Anthony was asleep and Edith went to her room and sobbed her heart out with tears of joy.

OO

Anthony had just finished breakfast when a tall man in uniform adorned with Medical Corps insignia approached his bedside.

"Major Strallan?" the man asked, his voice had the faintest trace of a Scots accent so reminded Anthony of Major Clarkson, "I'm Principal Medical Officer Lieutenant Doug Kirkpatrick."

"Please have a seat," Anthony said.

Kirkpatrick sat.

"I don't know what you have been told or, indeed, how much French, you understand."

"I'm pretty near fluent," Anthony replied.

"The bullet was removed when you first came to us but it has shattered your shoulder blade and caused significant nerve damage. It is early days but you may possibly regain some movement and use of the afflicted limb or you may not. I cannot be more precise at this moment but there is a visiting orthopaedic surgeon doing the rounds of the military hospitals in this region and I intend to ask him to give me a second opinion. For the moment we will keep you comfortable with pain relief."

"I don't want to become a laudanum addict," Anthony said.

"How are you feeling in yourself?"

"Pretty shattered emotionally; low in spirits and a loss of confidence also I haven't slept well owing to nightmares although, to be honest, my recollection of events immediately prior to the shooting is hazy at best, probably because I don't want to remember."

"That could be part of it although I must confess I am no psychologist"

"I just want to go home and be with my wife and son."

"I can't let you go anywhere for the time being, Major Strallan, not until I can get an expert opinion on your injury,"

"My wife is the second daughter of the Earl of Grantham and her family home is currently operating as a convalescent home for wounded soldiers. The local doctor, Major Clarkson, is excellent. I'm no psychologist either but surely being somewhere familiar will be an aid to recovery; at least on an emotional scale, although I must admit I have some doubts as to whether she will still want me in that way."

Anthony reached into his breast pocket and drew out a photograph of Edith with his son which he handed to Kirkpatrick,"

"You are indeed a lucky man Major Strallan; I think having her there for you will be no end of help. I see it all so often; wounded men go home and cannot readjust so put a bullet in their own heads,"

Anthony winced. "When I get home I will have my butler lock my service revolver in the bureau drawer and get him to keep the key," he sighed, "Lady Strallan is the love of my life. I was married before but widowed ten years before I met Lady Edith. I never thought I ever would love again but she has made all my dreams come true."

"Why don't you write to her?"

"I can write left handed and perhaps that might be a good idea. I know one of your volunteers, Mrs Crawley, from back home and she telephoned Lady Strallan for me last night so she at least knows I am not coming home in a body bag. The trouble is I have so many dark thoughts and doubts echoing in my head at the moment with which I don't want to burden her in writing. She is very strong emotionally but I want to talk to her face to face. If she no longer wants to be my wife I would rather hear it from her lips."

"Don't underestimate her Major Strallan; I can't see why she would not want you but of course I do not know her. I think women are probably having it tougher than their men at the Front; all that waiting and anxiety."

"I don't doubt it," Anthony said.

""In a couple of days I will get someone to take a look at you and then perhaps we can make arrangements to get you home. "

"I would appreciate that," Anthony said.

OO

Edith asked Violet to come with her to see Major Clarkson. She had spoken to Isobel again that morning to get more details of where Anthony was and a little more about his injury. She carried her son.

Major Richard Clarkson listened carefully while Edith filled him in on the details.

"You're quite right Lady Strallan; I believe he would benefit from being somewhere he knows. I will telephone and have an in depth conversation with the doctor in charge to find out what I can about the injury and its circumstances. I will get back to you. Where will you be found?"

"I'm at Downton for dinner this evening but any other time I will be at Locksley,"

"I will find you at Downton this evening then. It may be easier to explain in person than over the telephone,"

"Thank you Major Clarkson," Edith said.

OO

Edith was very quiet at dinner. Cora hugged her daughter, knowing she was worried about Anthony.

"I'm sorry to hear about Anthony's injury," Mary said.

"I'm just glad he's alive," Edith said, "Major Clarkson is coming to talk to me later if he's managed to talk to the doctor in France. It will be a huge relief to have him back where he belongs so I can look after him and little Anthony needs him too although he's too young to understand. That's a mercy really."

"Will you be able to manage, Edith?" Robert asked.

"Yes Papa, I know I can. I married him for better or worse and I meant every word of those vows. I can't forget how vulnerable I was when Anthony and I met and now it's my turn to restore his confidence and look after him. In addition to that Anthony's servants are very fond of him and they will help me."

"I'm very proud of you, Edith," Robert said.

"Thank you, Papa but I'm just being a wife."

Carson came in.

"Lady Strallan, Major Clarkson is outside and has asked for a private word with you."

"Thank you Carson, I will come right away."

"You can go into the study," Robert said, "You won't be disturbed there."

OO

Edith sat down and invited Clarkson to do the same.

"What have you found out?" Edith asked him.

"I spoke to a Lieutenant Kirkpatrick from the medical corps. Your husband's shoulder blade and nerve endings have been quite badly damaged but he is comfortable. An orthopaedic surgeon is coming to look at him tomorrow but as yet it is too soon to say whether the damage is irreparable or not. The bullet has been removed intact which at least negates any risk of septicaemia. He is understandable low in spirits and very tired but also restless. He wants to come home to be with you and his son. I will speak to Kirkpatrick again tomorrow after the orthopaedic surgeon has been."

"I know from Cousin Isobel that, for some reason, he has doubts I will still want to be his wife in that sense but I married him for better or worse, Major Clarkson and I will not forsake him at his time of need."

"He is a very lucky man, Lady Strallan,"

"Thank you but I am far luckier to have married such a noble brave man."

OO

The following day Anthony was back under anaesthetic as his shoulder blade was pinned and set to give it a maximised chance of healing and repairing naturally. A little grafting was also performed on the damaged nerve endings. When he came round he was in terrible pain and given a dose of laudanum.

But the surgeon seemed confident that, with time, Anthony should regain some use of his injured arm and hand although he could not predict when. He did dictate that Anthony should remain under Kirkpatrick's care for a further couple of weeks and he would visit again. Anthony was not happy about this but reasoned that they knew best.

Kirkpatrick relayed the information to Clarkson who informed Edith.

At the end of a week Anthony required less pain relief and he was able to clench the fist of his right hand although he could not move much beyond that.

Three weeks after the surgery Anthony was told that he could return home to England and convalesce at Downton.

Edith had tears in her eyes when Major Clarkson broke the news.

The next two days seemed to crawl by as Edith prepared to receive her beloved husband home again but she had waited a long time for this moment and she was prepared to make sure he would understand that it was for better or worse and she would not abandon him.

At long last Edith found herself waiting outside Downton as the military car came slowly up the gravel drive. Major Clarkson stood beside her.

The car stopped and Edith waited as the door opened and he stepped out. He was wearing his right arm in a sling but his joy on seeing his beloved wife again could not be contained as his blue eyes filled with tears.

He drew Edith to him with his left arm and held her close to his warm body as she slipped her arms around him and pressed close. Her own brown eyes filled with tears.

"Welcome home," she whispered, "And you have no need to worry because you are a real hero to me and I will always want you,"

"You have no idea how good it feels to see you and to hear that from your own sweet lips," he gently wiped a tear from her cheek with his left hand.

"I love you Major Anthony Strallan," she whispered, "I always have and I always will."

"I love you too my sweet lovely Lady Strallan and I promise I will never leave you or our son again,"

"Let's go and find your bed," Edith said.

She held his left hand and they walked inside.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Edith helped her husband to undress; gently supporting his arm while she took the sling off and removing his top clothes before helping him into the hospital pyjamas.

He was somewhat reluctant to let her see the scarring and the bullet hole but he allowed her to look and she gently caressed the scars.

"Just so you know these make no difference to my love for you," she whispered, "Well except to make me love you even more my handsome war hero."

Anthony got into bed and Edith sat beside the bed. Major Clarkson walked in carrying a clipboard.

"I'm glad we were able to get you here," he said, "Being in familiar surroundings should help you. You will need to rest for a week or so and then you should be able to go home to Locksley. You don't have any nightmares or anything?"

"I did to begin with but since I learnt I was coming back to Blighty they have ceased."

Clarkson asked Anthony a few more questions and gave him a morphine shot before leaving.

"Has little Anthony said anything yet?"

"He makes noises but no intelligible words yet although he sits and crawls."

"Where is he?"

"Sybil and Mama are looking after him but I will bring him to you later."

She noticed tears in her husband's eyes.

"Oh Edith darling I can't even hold you or my son properly."

"It will be alright," Edith said. She held his good hand in hers. "Anthony darling; you took care of me when I was emotionally fragile so it is my turn now and I am privileged." she gently brushed away his tears with her fingertips, "I love you and I always will."

"I love you too,"

OO

She went to collect little Anthony and took him to see his father. Anthony stretched out his good arm and Edith sat their son on the bed so his father could put an arm around him.

"Hello little one," Anthony whispered, "I don't know if you remember me?"

But then little Anthony touched his father's cheek and two pairs of blue eyes met. Edith dabbed at her own eyes with a handkerchief.

"I talk to him about you all the time, my darling, and I have put a photograph of you into his room as well. I was determined he hear about you all the time so he knows what a lovely man his father is."

"Thank you my darling," he sighed, "I suppose we will have to give up all those lovely drives around the countryside."

"No we won't," Edith said, "you see Tom Branson, my father's chauffeur, taught me to drive a couple of months back and I'm quite at home and safe behind the wheel so we can go for as many drives as you want."

Anthony smiled. "I'm very proud of you Edith; learning to drive isn't easy."

Little Anthony reached up and planted a big wet sloppy kiss on his father's cheek. Edith smiled.

OO

Edith stayed at Downton with her son while Anthony was in hospital. She knew that Locksley would be fine in her absence but she telephoned Oakley daily for updates and to tell him how the master was faring.

"He's a gorgeous little boy," Anna said as she did Edith's hair for dinner.

"Yes and he adores his daddy. I talked about him all the time so little Anthony would know who he was; since he was only two months old when Anthony left I did not want him to forget."

OO

Anthony seemed a lot better the next morning and Edith gasped when she saw he could move his right hand a little. She held his injured hand in hers and by the smile on her husband's face Edith knew he could feel it.

"Will it get completely better?" Edith asked.

"I have no idea but even this is an improvement. It doesn't even hurt as badly as it did."

"That's good," Edith kissed him and he drew her close with his left arm.

"I want to take you home and make more deliciously private memories with you," she whispered.

"That sounds very nice," he whispered back, "Oh god Edith I really do love you. I feel so guilty for thinking you might not want me anymore after this," he held up his injured hand.

"I probably would have wondered the same if things had been reversed," Edith said, "but you looked after me when we first married and I wondered how you could love me because of my indiscretion but I should never really have doubted and when I saw the love in your eyes on our wedding day I could no longer doubt and after our wedding night all doubts deserted me. I can't believe how fragile I must have seemed back then."

"You were very fragile my darling but it aroused my protective instinct. I will never let anyone harm you my love, not while I breathe."

"I couldn't prevent them from hurting you and I am so sorry for that."

"It's the nature of war my darling; it is not your fault."

Two days later Major Clarkson told them both that Anthony could return home to Locksley the following day and the look on Anthony's face suggested he had been offered the moon on a silver platter.

OO

The following morning Edith left her son with Cora while she drove over to Locksley. The staff was delighted to see their mistress and were filled with joy at the prospect of their master's imminent return.

Edith helped the housekeeper arrange vases of brightly coloured flowers in every room and she instructed the cook to prepare some of Anthony's favourite dishes for dinner that night.

OO

That afternoon Edith collected Anthony from Downton and drove him and their son home. Little Anthony sat on his father's lap and laid his little hand over his father's injured one.

When they got out at Locksley both Edith and Anthony had tears in their eyes and so did the staff on seeing their beloved master. Anthony picked up his son with his strong left arm and carried him into the house.

Oakley brought brandy for Anthony, wine for Edith and milk for the boy.

OO

That night Edith carefully undressed her husband and he held her close to him and laid his injured hand on her back rubbing gently. Edith shivered.

"Oh my love," she murmured, "that feels wonderful."

She removed his shirt and then moved behind him, her arms around his waist as she began to caress his scars and bullet wound with her soft sensual mouth. He felt shivers go through him and his eyes filled with tears. How could he have thought she would no longer want him? Every kiss and gentle lick told him I love you even more because of these not in spite of them.

He undressed her and his mouth caressed her breasts, his tongue swirling around his nipples. He began to pleasure her sex, whipping her into an unladylike lather within moments as he gently sucked her engorged clitoris and licked, tasting her. She shook violently.

"Oh Anthony," she moaned, "That is wonderful."

He took her swiftly, suddenly overcome by a desire to make her his again and to feel his manhood inside her secret places. They felt so comfortable and relaxed together as he held her tightly with his good arm and she caressed his back.

"Oh God Edith, I love you," he gasped as he came inside her ad moments later she cried out

"Anthony oh Anthony, my darling. I do love you."

They lay together just holding each other and she inhaled his musky post coital aroma and tasted his salty skin. He tasted divine and he was all hers. It was as though they had never been apart.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

It was Anthony's first morning home and he lay in bed with Edith's arms around him. They had drunk tea and were deliberating descending for breakfast. They were still slicked with sweat after making love long and passionately.

"You are such a wonderful lover Anthony," she purred seductively in his ear.

"So are you my darling Lady Strallan; I love the way you read John Donne."

"I wonder if we knew him in a previous life," Edith mused, "because he seems to write exactly how we feel about each other."

"That is more than possible my darling," he kissed her. He had woken up that morning with the delightful discovery that he was able to bend his right arm at the elbow although his upper arm and shoulder was still stiff and lead like.

Edith leant over him and covered his right arm with sensual kisses and caresses. The look on his face suggested that he could feel her touch and that brought tears to both their eyes.

"Oh Edith," he moaned softly as his right hand caressed his wife's naked back, "Do you realise that finally I have everything I have ever wanted? I am home where I belong; not to mention that I have a beautiful loving wife and an adorable son."

"I have everything I have ever wanted too," she whispered nuzzling his neck and shoulder, "I have a gorgeous husband, a beautiful son and the freedom to be myself and second best to no one."

"Let's take a shower before breakfast," he whispered, "I want to wash every inch of my wife's naked beauty."

OO

The hot water cascaded over them as Anthony soaped a sponge and proceeded to wash Edith with it; covering her in a creamy lather before rinsing it off. She washed her coppery hair and smiled as she saw the rivulets of water trickle down her husband's splendid body. She washed him in turn, smiling as his penis came half to life at her touch. He pulled her to him and kissed her hard on the mouth and she kissed him back hungrily.

They dried each other with a big soft towel and Anthony splashed cologne on his wrists and neck. Edith inhaled deeply for she loved the smell of her husband's cologne.

They dressed.

"You purify me, Anthony," she said softly, her breathing still ragged from the ferocity of his kisses, "When we met I was tainted by my indiscretion but your love has purified me and made me a respectable woman so I can never thank you enough for that."

"You thanked me the first time you let me make love to you, Edith darling," he said gently.

OO

They ate breakfast and then Roisin took little Anthony out.

Around mid-morning Oakley came in.

"Sir, there is a Colonel Marshall here to see you."

"Show him in," Anthony replied, "my commanding officer," he mouthed when Edith raised one eyebrow.

Marshall walked in and was astounded when Anthony offered his right hand.

"The surgery worked then, oh I am so glad."

"I still can't move my shoulder or upper arm," Anthony replied, "but it is a distinct improvement," he turned to Edith, "Colonel may I present Lady Edith Strallan, my beloved wife?"

Marshall took Edith's hand and kissed it with a flourish.

"You're even more beautiful than your photograph," he breathed.

"Thank you," Edith said.

They sat and Oakley brought them tea.

"So to what do we owe the pleasure of your visit, Sir?" Anthony asked.

"Jolly good news Major Strallan. In light of certain events and the fact you were injured His Majesty wishes to honour you with a VC."

Edith said nothing but the brightness in her eyes and the smile on her lips showed that she was incredibly proud of him.

"You should receive official notification soon but as I was on leave and visiting a maiden aunt in the locality I thought I would deliver the news in person,"

"I just did what any man would have done." Anthony protested.

Marshall gave Edith an account of the events which had brought about Anthony's injury.

"Thanks to your husband, Lady Strallan, vital documentation was kept in British hands and the two men who stole fake documentation were shot for treason a few weeks ago. Since your husband was smart enough to do as he did the war has gone our way. I have nightmares when I contemplate what _might _have been."

"Oh Anthony," Edith held his hand, "I am just so very proud of you."

OO

Marshall had departed when Roisin returned with little Anthony.

Edith scooped her son into her arms.

"Your Daddy is going to meet the King," she said proudly, "he has been very brave and very clever so the King wants to thank him personally."

The little boy smiled and reached for his father. Anthony took him and sat him on his lap.

OO

That evening they went to Downton for dinner where Edith proudly announced, her eyes filled with tears, that pretty soon she would be married to a VC holder. Robert was speechless.

"Congratulations," Violet said.

"Thank you Lady Grantham; although I must confess it still hasn't sunk in yet as I did what any man would have done."

"Oh don't be modest Sir Anthony," Cora said, "especially as a lot of men who get the VC are not in a position to crow about it."

Robert finally recovered his breath.

"Congratulations Anthony dear chap," Out of habit he went to offer Anthony his left hand and was doubly surprised when Anthony offered his right.

"Is your arm better?" Sybil asked.

"Getting there Lady Sybil; I still have little movement above the elbow but it's a damned sight better than it was. There is no guarantee I will ever get complete full use back but I can manage well enough with your sister to help me.

OO

Three weeks later Edith & Anthony travelled down to London with Roisin and their son.

They checked into a hotel; they had been invited to stay with Lady Painswicke, Edith's aunt, but had politely declined. Rosamund could be overbearing at times and they wanted privacy to be alone together as a family.

Roisin took care of little Anthony while Edith and Anthony went to Buckingham Palace. Anthony wore full dress military uniform which sent shivers through Edith as she realised just how much he loved him and how incredibly desirable he looked. She wore a new outfit purchased especially for the occasion.

The ceremony was brief and Edith's eyes were filled with tears throughout.

"Major Strallan," the King said. Anthony bowed, "your Majesty,"

"I understand that your country owes you a great debt for your foresight and bravery and therefore I am extremely honoured to meet you and to present you with this," he deftly pinned the VC to Anthony's chest.

Anthony saluted with his left hand but the King had been briefed about the fact Major Strallan's right arm was not fully functional so he was quite prepared.

"May I meet your wife?" King George V asked.

Edith came forward trembling with nerves for this was totally unexpected. She curtsied, "Your Majesty,"

"It is an honour to meet you Lady Strallan; you have a husband that you can truly be proud of."

"I am very proud of him, your majesty," Edith said.

They stood with the King to have their photograph taken and Edith knew she had fallen in love with Anthony all over again. Her heart swelled and threatened to burst with love and pride.

OO

Later that afternoon they met up with Roisin and little Anthony back at the Savoy.

Anthony pointed at the bright shiny medal on his father's chest.

Anthony sat and lifted his son onto his lap.

The little boy put his arms around his father and kissed him.

"Daddy," he said and Edith's eyes filled with tears.

"Hello son," Anthony's eyes were filled with tears too and even Roisin dabbed at her eyes.

Edith knew that she would never forget this day for as long as she lived; not only had she met the King and seen Anthony's heroism rewarded but their son had said his first word and she knew that she would really show her husband how she loved him that night; all night long if she could.

Anthony Strallan was immensely proud of his son. The day had been overwhelming emotionally, so many new experiences and sensations and his son had called him Daddy. Anthony knew that nothing he experienced for the rest of his life would ever compare to that and to share the day and that precious moment with his beloved wife, his lovely Lady Strallan, well some moments in life were beyond value.

**A/N Thanks for reading to the end and for all your lovely reviews. I do not have a clue what really happens when the monarch presents a medal so I made that part up.**


End file.
